Three Ways to Manage the Hard "Life" Stuff

I attended a beautiful wedding last weekend. The first one since my divorce. Gulp! I didn’t expect to be so vulnerable, but it hit me hard.

I remember getting married so vividly AND I remember signing the divorce papers even more clearly. One burst my heart wide open. The other, a large hole in the center of my chest (like a grenade).

Married life was not perfect, but the hard stuff was easier because having a best friend by your side provided comfort, support, stimulating conversations, laughter, intimacy, space to bounce around ideas, accountability, safety, shared responsibilities, and companionship.

I’m very aware of my “aloneness,” and it’s too easy to be the victim or wallow in the sorrow of my plight so I have to be mindful and NOT feel sorry for myself. There is a different way that I will boil down into 3 manageable steps for you to apply to your own version of hard.

Step #1: State the Facts + Name the Emotions ->> Do not Wallow in the “Story”

My facts: Being a single mom is hard. Having the emotional bandwidth and mental acuity required to manage the day-to-day is hard. The financial responsibility … HARD. The presence of mind. The physical exhaustion. Showing up (fully) for my child while working full time and managing the household responsibilities. Being flexible and patient. Getting up early. Staying up late. HARD!

To keep my head above water, I have to keep swimming. Feeling sorry for myself or being a victim = Drowning (not an option).

Step #2: Movement

My movement: The Gym. Breathwork. Yoga. Biking. Hiking.

Find something to do and DO it. Moving the body moves energy. It moves emotions. It moves tension. It’s healing and therapeutic and life-changing.

Step #3: Focus on the Good

My Good: I’m happy. I’m free. I have an amazing connection with my daughter. I have a safe place to live. I have an incredible job I love with the flexibility I need to be present, as a mom. I have the most genuine and loving friends, family, & colleagues. Like, the BEST!

These (3) steps work. Every. Time.

Try them out and see how things shift and move in your own life.

Cheering you on in your own version of hard.

Xx-
BeAnne

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