At what point did we start associating surrender with failure?
Our conditioning leads us to believe that surrender is giving up; like we've failed in some way, but what if true surrender was an honoring of one's self by acknowledging that the body is doing too much and being pushed to exhaustion and in desperate need of some rest?
Surrender, then, would actually be an act of self love; something only a true warrior would realize.
I have been running on empty for a while now trying to do all the things. Running two businesses, parenting, managing a house, coordinating summer camps, shopping, preparing meals, laundry, cleaning, school stuff, birthday gifts, emails, texts, calls, and the never ending list of to-do's.
The mounding workload and responsibilities seem to be endless. I'm in front of Zoom telling my students to be mindful, to breathe and rest yet I'm over here running around like a lunatic staying up to midnight every night trying to get everything done. Literally occupying every moment of every day with some kind of something and not taking any time for myself.
It's summer and I have a precious little girl who needs sacred time with her mama. I'm the one who holds her heart when her feelings have been hurt or when she is having a rough day. I cannot be fully present with her while trying to do all the things.
I've been pushing myself too hard because that's what I've always done. I've spent my whole life trying to prove myself, refusing to give up on anything, pushing and doing and going. I've made a habit of doing things the hard way because some how I was under the impression that personal growth only happened to those who worked hard and struggled and perhaps there's a little truth to that but it doesn't have to be like that all the time.
I've also noticed over the past few months that my students have Zoom fatigue and not interested in sitting in front of a computer anymore. People want to be out and about and go on the vacations they had put on hold and travel to the beach and spend time with friends and family. And truth be told, so do I.
I'm going to spend my Sunday mornings this summer with my girl making pancakes and staying in our pj's a little longer and going on bike rides and showing houses and writing offers. It's not to say I won't offer a pop up class every now and again, but for the summer I'm taking my Sundays back.
You can still find me on the mat at Plum Tree Yoga so keep your eye on the schedule and follow me on Conscious Yogi Facebook page because that's where I will keep you updated on my current offerings. I'm also available for smaller private events so keep me mind if you're looking to practice in a more intimate gathering.
I will write here and there, but giving myself full permission to unplug for a couple months to recharge my battery. Thank you to each and every one of you who take the time to read my musings each week. It means more to me than you could possibly know.This is not a goodbye, but a "see y'all later" kind of thing.
Have a beautiful summer and know that you are dearly loved. Rest, spend time with the ones you love, and be mindful as you integrate this new energy that's on the rise. We've worked hard to get here. Keep the momentum going and reflect in the light.
Love & Light,
Let's be the LOVE the world needs.