I attended a beautiful wedding last weekend. The first one since my divorce. Gulp! I didn’t expect to be so vulnerable, but it hit me hard. I remember getting married so vividly AND I remember signing the divorce papers even more clearly. One burst my heart wide open. The other, a large hole in the center of my chest (like a grenade). Married life was not perfect, but the hard stuff was easier because having a best friend by your side provided comfort, support, stimulating conversations, laughter, intimacy, space to bounce around ideas, accountability, safety, shared responsibilities, and companionship. I’m very aware of my “aloneness,” and it’s too easy to be the victim or wallow in the sorrow of my plight so I have to be mindful and NOT feel sorry for myself. There is a different way that I will boil down into 3 manageable steps for you to apply to your own version of hard. Step #1: State the Facts + Name the Emotions ->> Do not Wallow in the “Story” My facts: Being a single mom is hard. Having the emotional bandwidth and mental acuity required to manage the day-to-day is hard. The financial responsibility … HARD. The presence of mind. The physical exhaustion. Showing up (fully) for my child while working full time and managing the household responsibilities. Being flexible and patient. Getting up early. Staying up late. HARD! To keep my head above water, I have to keep swimming. Feeling sorry for myself or being a victim = Drowning (not an option). Step #2: Movement My movement: The Gym. Breathwork. Yoga. Biking. Hiking. Find something to do and DO it. Moving the body moves energy. It moves emotions. It moves tension. It’s healing and therapeutic and life-changing. Step #3: Focus on the Good My Good: I’m happy. I’m free. I have an amazing connection with my daughter. I have a safe place to live. I have an incredible job I love with the flexibility I need to be present, as a mom. I have the most genuine and loving friends, family, & colleagues. Like, the BEST! These (3) steps work. Every. Time. Try them out and see how things shift and move in your own life. Cheering you on in your own version of hard. Xx- BeAnne
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Easter showed up differently for a lot of people I know and love. For me, personally, I wanted to be at the beach celebrating with our friends, but I’m divorced and along with a bunch of other unfortunate contractural terms, holidays are shared with my daughter’s dad and it was “his” turn for spring break. For others, it was not having a loved one present because life took them too soon or because the kids were grown up doing their own thing or family members were too far. Regardless, they were all circumstances beyond our control. There were countless posts on social media with images of friends and family gathering together on vacation or at the lake or family home. And EVERYone looked happy. It’s spring break, after all. We wanted that too and those posts could have been debilitating … IF we allowed them. But here’s the thing … People in my world showed up anyway. They created their own little memories and made the best of their situation. They made cookies or baked cakes or prepared extravagant meals (as if the whole neighborhood was coming). They found simple little meaningful ways to celebrate in their own way. And I did the same! THAT’s resilience my friends. It was glorious to witness people changing their state of being through positive mindset; through focusing on the things within their control. Amen to not letting social media dictate our narrative. We have the opportunity to live our best lives, but we have to stay in our own lane and not compare ourselves to others. Love yourself. Love your life. Do something different if something is not working. Embrace what you DO have and love those who are with you. The grass is not greener on the other side. It’s just different so wear your own shade of green and go make yourself a cake (if that’s what it takes). Xx, BeAnne I was scrolling through photos the other day with my girl and we came across this sweet photo and it got me thinking. I mean … the sheer nature of a baby chick is gentle and kind; virtues that could easily be applied to humanity right now. Both personally AND professionally. The way we speak about someone. The way we communicate to others. The way we touch. The way we stand or fold our arms. The look in our eyes. Our body language. All convey a message. I have to check myself often in the world of real estate, as it’s easy to be gentle with the ones I love, but professionally, it’s often a challenge when dealing with a difficult person. The question … Can we still show up and be gentle and kind (anyway)? There are so many opportunities in the world to be considerate and warmhearted toward others. Think about that the next time you engage with someone who's triggering. Can you love them anyway? I’m not saying it’s easy. In fact, it’s downright impossible sometimes, but I’ve learned that an entire transaction can be turned around simply by leaning in with more heart ... more gratitude ... more patience ... more understanding. Try it and see for yourself. Xx - BeAnne I'm so very proud and honored to be featured in the January publication of Alpharetta Neighbors. When the publisher first reached out and asked if she could feature our story, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. It was during a stressful "single mom" moment when I was feeling alone and extremely tired. To be seen and appreciated in that moment was a lifeline and one I did not expect. I cried when I first saw the draft. I actually read it out loud with my daughter sitting beside me. I'm so grateful to Albright Photography for capturing the essence of our relationship and for the very fun photo shoot downtown Alpharetta. Thank you for seeing us and bringing our love to life in these beautiful images. I'm also so very thankful to Traci Bippus for taking our interview and transforming it so eloquently into "our" story. Your words touched me in a way I can't quite describe. And to Michelle Barry, the publisher, thank you doesn't quite seem adequate, but I'm going to say it anyway. Thank you! Being a single parent yourself and having a deep and personal understanding of my story, I hope you can feel the genuine heartfelt gratitude. You and your team have warmed my heart (deeply) and I appreciate you bringing our story into the homes of the Alpharetta community. This article means the world to me and I hope our story gives other single mothers hope and energy to keep going, to keep believing in themselves, to keep making the magic, and to keep showing up for their kids because they need you now more than ever and your strength is their super power. In Love & Grace, BeAnne XX |
AuthorA wise woman once said, "fuck this shit" and she lived happily ever after. Archives
September 2023
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