I'm going to be honest and just speak from the heart. The holidays are a bit different for me this year. It's one of the many unfortunate consequences of a divorce; being separated from your child. People tell me I will get use to it and that it will get easier, but I don't know that I will ever be comfortable being apart from my daughter. She is my heart and soul. She was born from my body. I am a part of her and she of me. There is no greater bond.

This will be the very first Christmas morning I wake up without her. I will not get to hear the little footsteps running down the stairs to see if Santa came or whether or not he took the letter and enjoyed the cookies and carrots we left for him and the reindeer. The void in my heart is indescribable, yet I know there are many parents out there who have lost their child to suicide, an illness, or some horrible tragedy and they do not get the luxury of seeing their child again. I do. What an incredible blessing.

Although I know I'm blessed, I cannot discount or ignore the present ache in my heart so I hold {both} tendering. The grief of not having her here and the joy in knowing that she will be with me again soon. It's such a beautiful practice to hold this dichotomy so reverently.

Our feelings are part of the human experience and we must honor them and feel them, but not get stuck in the muck of them. This life we are living is too precious to live amongst all this stress and anxiety.

Things happen that are out of our control, but it's how we handle these moments and how we choose to live our lives afterwards that truly matters. Thankfully, we do get to control how we respond and where we put our attention. That said, I'm choosing to do something good. Something healing and from the heart.

The mat is where I go to heal, to restore and to get the rest and energy I need to live my best life, so instead of being sad, I'm rolling out the mat on Christmas Eve and doing something I love. Yoga! Teaching is my greatest gift and brings me an immense amount of joy.

If you're interested in practicing, but the time doesn't work with your schedule, I'm offering a recorded option so please see the details below.

My heart and soul are always with you.

Love & Light,
BeAnne
🖤🖤🖤

Zoom Live Stream: Saturday December 24th, 9:30am-10:30am EDT. The session will open at 9:15am so please arrive early to get settled so you are ready to begin at 9:30am.

Step #1 Send Payment:

Cost: $15

Two Payment Platforms.

Venmo: BeAnne-Creeger
PayPal: beannecreeger@gmail.com

Recorded Option: Pre-pay (payment information above) and include "Recording" in the notes of either Venmo or Paypal and I'll send you the link after class on Saturday.

Step #2 Register (Required):

https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZEsdOqtrTItE9Vun4aeXfsgneZfaHSBWKXX

After registering, you will receive another email with link to join class (Save this for Saturday).
​

​I’m going to be 50 next month and not where I thought I would be. That’s hard for someone who grew up wanting to save the world, to be loved fiercely, and to be happily married with children. I was always a bit of a dreamer because I believed in good. I believed in love. I believed in the human heart. Along the way, the innocence was dismantled and I had to face a lot of cruel realizations. 
​
You cannot love someone into loving you. You cannot change someone’s experiences or the consequences of those experiences. You can’t undo the conditioning of another or the mental constructs that limit the ability to have a deep emotional connection. You cannot make right the injustices of the world or override a person’s reaction to trauma. 

My life forever changed January 2019 and the life I once knew was gone. It can happen just like that and so unexpectedly. One day you’re married and happy and living your best life and the next you’re alone and grieving and trying to put your life back together.

Being a single mom and responsible for a home and a career and a little human is not easy. Letting go of a man I adored and loved deeply … not easy. Being almost 50 and aging and alone … terrifying. 

And yet, I sit here looking at this photo and have so much reverence and respect for the woman I’ve become. I’ve earned the emotional grit and the inner strength that comes from walking through fire and I’ve done a lot of healing to get here. 

Finally giving to myself what I gave to others. My heart. My love. My loyalty. My commitment to be true and honest and kind. My silliness. My laughter. My sense of adventure. My playfulness. My willingness to try something new. To learn. To grow. To be fully present and engaged.  

I have a career I love, friends and family who would do anything for me, my health, a happy home, and a beautiful child who is deeply connected to my soul. My wish for the new year is that you, too, find a deep reservoir of self-love and that you give to yourself the unique offerings you’ve been giving to others. You deserve it. I deserve it. WE deserve it.  

Okay, not really. Everyone’s on pins and needles. Between inflation, the current state of the world, and the uncertainty of our political and economic future,  there’s a lot of anxiety and fear; neither of which will help resolve any of our problems. Take a moment today to just stop and BE. Feel into your heart and envision what you want the world to “feel” like. Not who or what or how.

Right here. Right now. What do you want your life and our future world to feel like? Feel THAT and let everything else go. Our minds are powerful tools and they are recording every last thought and emotion. What messaging are you sending out in to the world? We all have to get into the right mindset and it’s not us against them or them against us.

Collectively, we can change things, but it has to be initiated through a genuine intentional collaborative mentality to work together to fix the systems that aren’t working and to ultimately heal our planet through a common thread of respect and loving kindness. We need a more mindful approach and that begins with each and every one of us.

When you are in a state of love and I am in a state of love, we are in the same place my friends. That’s the world where I want to live.

It’s October and it’s beautiful and everyone can finally put out the pumpkins, drink fall spiced lattes, and start celebrating the final few months of the year. The weather is getting colder and we have a stronger desire to snuggle up and spend more time in the warmth of friends and family.

BUT … this is not a post about pumpkin spiced lattes although this IS my favorite season.

There’s a tangible stress that comes with the close of a year, as time seems to gain momentum. The pressure to compete and get everything done is overwhelming and emotionally exhausting.

I feel this especially as a single parent to a young child with a New Year’s Eve birthday. As soon as fall arrives she starts talking about Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and her birthday and suddenly my mind is spinning and I feel a sense of overwhelm and it’s only October.

Considering my daughter’s excitement, I thought we would go out and get some stuff to decorate the front door with some festive decor, but when I saw the cost of the cute little decorative bales of hay and corn stalk bundles, I almost died on principal alone.

I was probably channeling my mother considering we grew up on a farm and had fields full of this stuff and our holiday decorations were handmade, but there was no need to compete or compare ourselves because social media didn't exist and holidays weren't the ridiculous profit-making movement they are today. 

After talking with my girlfriend about it, she sent me the above photo with the caption, “Stick a broom out there and call it a day!” I literally laughed out loud. I mean, seriously, right?! 

Social media is full of photos of the perfect Pinterest front entry with elevated displays of inspiring holiday decor and interior images of stunning homes with curated moments of matching dinnerware, festive place settings, and striking seasonal centerpieces.
​
If that's you, congratulations! I admire your zest and enthusiasm and love the sense of joy it invokes. If that is not you or the thought of it feels overwhelming because you don't have the natural gift of design or have the time or the resources to get it done, then don't. We shouldn't be killing ourselves and feeling so depleted by the time the new year rolls around.

​There are ways to minimize the stress and simplify so that you can have more peace of mind and enjoy the end of the year. Our health is way too important to kill ourselves trying to look "holiday" perfect on social media. Just enjoy your life. And if you feel like you have to do something, then just stick a broom out there and call it a day!