Archetypes July 17, 2010
Posted by admin in : People, Spiritual Growth Tags:archetype, awareness, Carl Jung, Caroline Myss, consciousness, individuation , 1 comment so farIf you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
Ever since I was introduced to the 4 archetypes by Carolyn Myss - the saboteur, the victim, the prostitute, and the child - my level of awareness has gone from ordinary to superlative. Who knew we all had these shadowy reflections of our inner selves lurking just beneath the conscious mind?
Anyone who has taken a psychology class has read about and/or studied the great Pioneer of Transpersonal Psychology, Carl Jung. His premise was that there was a relationship between the conscious and the unconscious. He termed the word individuation to mean a process of self growth that linked the ego to the self. He said the ego was the conscious and the self was the center of the collective whole (the unconscious and the conscious). He conceptualized the idea that we were all born with inherited predispositions that caused us to act and behave in certain ways. These predispositions are what he defined as archetypes, which (if left understood) would yield somewhat of a negative undertone when (in actuality) they are neutral forces. It is our perception and labeling of good and bad that have given our archetypes an uninterested connotation.
Caryolyn Myss, one of my favorite mystic authors, is a medical intuitive and has been in the filed of energy medicine and human consciousness for over 20 years. In her book, Sacred Contracts and Advanced Energy Anatomy, she goes in to the 4 survival archetypes in great detail in how these ancient universal patterns of behavior are deeply imbedded in to the collective unconscious. These archetypes are fundamental forces that exist beyond our conscious knowing. They show up in our thoughts and actions and are repetitive in nature. All 4 archetypes are present in each and every one of us and although they are universal in nature, some are more dominant than others depending upon our heritage and upbringing.
Getting to know these unconscious patterns and behaviors is to embody the soul. We all think, feel, and experience the world in different ways and when we experience life through an unconscious lens, we are living and reacting to life through fear and vulnerability, but if we allow yourselves to awaken and live life more consciously, we are able to live and experience life from a place of love.
I was intrigued by the notion that there could actually be psychological reasoning for the maddening unconscious behaviors that exist within all of us. Could these archetypes really open us up to a greater understanding of ourselves and the unconscious patterns we create in the psyche? As I began to understand each individual role, I slowly and painfully became aware of their energy. Before the idea of unconscious patterning, I simply lost myself in the shadow of these archetypes that took up residence in the unconscious mind.
I began to witness myself metamorphosing in to character and I could hear myself saying, “What are you doing? This isn’t you.” But it was me…the unconscious me…the wounded child me…the victim me…the prostitute me…the saboteur me. They were the me’s I hid behind in order to protect myself from being physically and/or emotionally hurt. It was safer to plunge in the vast expanse of illusion than to be confronted with the reality of life. When we’re ignorant we are safe and not responsible for the truth so we fall prey to the shadow side of our archetypes who play out the same story over and over again in an attempt to feel safe.
With awareness comes responsibility so I can no longer hide behind the shadow of these archetypes. I have to step out and be my authentic self. I have to have the courage to be who I truly am and the shadows help me do this. They surface to give us insight in to ourselves. They give us the tools and power to heal the burdensome past. They help us let go of the baggage we’ve been carrying around for years, but we have to get to know them and understand them and welcome them as our allies. If we don’t take the necessary step to understanding them and the roles they play, we will continue to remain stuck in the behaviors and patterns of the shackling past.
A Small Sacrifice June 17, 2010
Posted by admin in : Spiritual Growth, Yoga , 3commentsI left corporate a couple years ago to teach yoga because my heart was called to do something more meaningful. All I ever wanted to do as a child was save the world yet people mocked me telling me it was impossible, an implausible task. As I explored deeper aspects of myself through the art and philosophy of yoga, I realized it was possible to save the world because yoga wasn’t just a practice of strength and flexibility. It was a journey unto oneself and it allowed people to connect to their inner most selves where they could find peace and a joy from simply being.
Finding yourself means freedom and a sense of joy you can’t find in another and the clarity and peace you get from knowing and being intimate with yourself brings you to self-realization. If every person on the planet achieved this level of love, the world would know peace for when you are in a place of calm and I am in a place of calm, we are in the same place. It was this realization that brought me to the biggest decision of my life. I knew I had to teach, that I was born to teach, that teaching would bring peace to the world because yoga brings people back to their center where the mind and heart unite as one bringing light to the dark shadows that once hampered us from the growth necessary to sustain peace on earth.
Although teaching brings me much joy, there are times I question my decision to leave corporate because I look around and see people who are making good money and can afford whatever luxury they choose. I envy their position and question why I left a job where I never worried about money or healthcare because I had benefits and a great salary. I think how dumb of me to walk away from something that offered so much financial freedom. I think about what it would be like if I hadn’t left and where I would be in the corporate chain of command and how much money I would be making and the freedom I would have to do whatever I pleased.
It is in these fleeting moments I am reminded of my heart’s true desire because although corporate offered a financial luxury, nothing can surpass the feeling I get when I look in to the eyes of a student coming out of a deep svasana and I see a tear in the corner of her eye and I know that something profound has just occurred. A warm smile falls across my face, as I know she is feeling a deep presence of self and she is on a journey of transformation and healing. It is in these moments, I know I’m where I’m where I’m suppose to be and doing what I was born to do. It is a gift to share in the growth of another and to see one awaken to a higher consciousness.
It is in remembering who we truly are that gets us out of our ego and makes us realize we are so much more than the cars we drive or the homes we live in or the jobs we keep so I have much gratitude and a deep profound respect to those who left their secure corporate jobs to pursue their passion. It is not without sacrifice and I truly appreciate the healers who were willing to take a blind leap of faith to make the world a better place. I commend you and encourage you to remain strong in your faith, as you continue to bring yoga to life. Love to you all and a sacred, palms together, Namaste!
Wake Up and Live Your Life May 19, 2010
Posted by admin in : Life 101, People, Spiritual Growth, Uncategorized , 1 comment so farI frequently refer to my life as a journey because there is no destination. I’m on a continuous path of self-discovery and transformation. I use to worry about what other people thought of me and fell prey to expectations because I wasn’t empowered enough to know better. I finally stopped living my life as a puppeteer when I realized mainstream wasn’t really going anywhere.
Of course I knew this as a child, but when you’re young and uneducated, you have no choice, as we don’t have the same free will living under the roof of another. As we find our way out in to the world and begin to make choices that reflect our own personal values, we find a sense of independence and freedom that leads us on a journey in to our deepest self.
The problem is we are so programmed we don’t even know what our own values are or what’s important to us as individuals. There is no sense of freedom because we are trapped in the minds of our predecessors following in the steps of society as a whole. How can we live an authentic wholesome life when our spiritual growth is inhibited by our predisposed minds?
We need to wake up as individuals and start making conscious decisions based on our own life experience. The change we need to see in this world is the change within ourselves. We are walking around as victims and taking no responsibility for the suffering our ignorance has created. We have to change the under current of past conditioning and start to live in accordance of our higher selves where we make decisions consciously from a place of inner knowing. The more we understand ourselves, the more in tune with life we become because we are no longer living from a place of fear, but from a place of joy.
Once you live from a place of center, you no longer need the false sense of security we get from following the herd of lost souls who need us to be someone other than ourselves. As we explore the depths of ourselves, we begin to heal from the past, but this process can’t begin until we stop blaming politics or religion or the actions of others and take some responsibility.
Take charge of your life and watch how differently the world unfolds. I guarantee you if you’re unhappy with someone in your life it’s because you’re unhappy with yourself so use your relationships and moments of unrest or pain to get to know yourself better. Use others as a map to your spiritual center. Let go of what’s happening around you and get in touch with the feeling it ignites or the behavior in yourself, as therein lies the answer.
Find the gift in the argument or the compliment in the judgement or the kind in the hate. Find peace in anger and joy in sorrow. The despair will only grow darker and make you weaker so find the light and bask in your inner radiance, as the world lights up around you.
Feeling Pain April 24, 2010
Posted by admin in : Relationships, Spiritual Growth , add a commentTo be able to feel pain is an extraordinary gift. Human suffering manifests in many forms taking shape in our bodies, minds, and hearts. Sometimes it just brushes the surface of our existence and other times it takes on a life of its own. Whatever form it takes or vessel it ensues, pain is meant to be a guide. It is not our enemy, as there is so much to gain from sitting in the midst of a taxing endeavor.
A couple months ago I found myself at an impasse and had to walk away from a romantic relationship. It was a tumultuous time and my heart ached, as I loved this person dearly. I did everything in my power to move on, but the pain weighed me down like a cement block shackled to the ground. Life as I knew it turned grey and bleak. Tears were plenty and many nights unrested.
Had I not allowed myself to fall in love, I could have picked up the shattered pieces of my heart easily and moved on without feeling such intense emotional pain, but instead I was left with the void he once filled. I struggled, as I tried to understand why something so beautiful had to come to pass. I knew it was suppose to happen because it happened. I just didn’t understand why. My thinking mind was tormenting and I fell powerless under the dark cloud that loitered my soul.
My heart felt hollow, as I ached to know why. I felt abandoned and my ego rejoiced in being the victim. How did I end up here and when would the destructive forsaken cycle end? When would loss cease to affect me and was it possible to let go of the past mental conditioning and create a new path for myself?
As I asked these questions, I began to become painfully aware of what was going on beneath the surface. I thought I was angry at the man who broke my heart. I wanted to be mad at him, but it wasn’t he who broke my heart. It was I who broke my heart. In losing myself to the relationship and taking up residence in his life, I disconnected from my own life leaving my inner child to fend for yourself. It was a pattern of self-abandonment I came to know well, as it was familiar and safe and deeply rooted in my psyche.
Losing someone I loved was simply the catalyst, a trigger if you will. The despair and pain I felt over the loss had taken me to my knees in order for me to truly see the deeply embedded issue of emotional neglect. That is what I needed to resolve and I knew I had compromised myself for the last time. I couldn’t change what was happening in the moment, but I could listen to the inner child screaming out and come to her rescue. She had been trying to reach out to me for a really long time, but it wasn’t until my heart was raw with grief that I finally heard her.
You can’t heal that which you are not aware and pain makes you conscious and gets you in touch with your inner most self, but you have to stop looking outward because the answers come from within. There was sadness around losing the man I loved, but the true heart-wrenching pain was from losing myself and in reconnecting to myself I was able to release the fear of abandonment, which opened me up to a much greater love than I ever expected and that is the love of myself.
It is our responsibility to seek out the greater truth in what we feel, but that means being with the heart and not being afraid of feeling strong emotions such as fear, hate, anger, sadness, and/or jealously. We have to stop self-medicating or distracting ourselves from the disquiet, as we are not truly living and growing spiritually if we brush our unease under the carpet or give it away unfairly. We have to own it, embrace it, and then rise above it.
Creating the Life You Want March 10, 2010
Posted by admin in : Fun Times, Spiritual Growth , 1 comment so farPeople have a tendency to get lost in relationships, as it takes special attention to keep one’s individuality in tact. I think we all lose ourselves to some degree, but it’s not always apparent until the relationship ends and you have time to reflect. It’s easy to get caught up in your partner’s life, putting his or her needs before your own and forgetting about the things that matter most.
I love to nest so I enjoy lighting all the candles in the house, turning on some music and cooking dinner at home. I like waking up to the smell of coffee brewing and having some time to chill in my own space before I head out and meet the day. It brings me a lot of joy to be in the sacred space of my own home and it keeps me grounded and centered yet I allowed my relationships to take me away from what mattered most. I was either with someone who preferred to eat out all the time or with someone who didn’t cook or like to cook or had the audacity to judge what I did cook. Instead of fighting for what I needed, I just shut down.
I wanted to share the experience of being at home and cooking a meal with my man, but instead, I allowed his schedule to dominate. I wasn’t secure enough to stand my ground and fight for some kind of balance so I gave up my power and became a resident of his life. It was easy to make excuses when I was in the relationship, but then I found myself single making new excuses. I would tell myself how silly it was to cook for one person or how nice it would be to finally meet a guy who liked to stay at home and cook.
The reality was I didn’t need a partner to fulfill my dream and if I sat around waiting for prince charming, I would be doing myself an injustice. It was time to honor my journey and create the life I always wanted so I picked out a recipe, drove to Whole Foods and bought a bunch of groceries, and then went home and lit all the candles. I turned on some music, rolled up my sleeves and got to work. As I chopped, shredded, diced, stirred, and finished preparing the ingredients, I came alive and felt like myself for the first time in a long, long time. I found myself smiling and dancing around the kitchen in my goofy toe socks having a romantic love affair with life.
To honor myself and do something I really wanted awakened something powerful beyond measure. My need to nest literally manifested right before my eyes and it was invigorating and empowering in a way I can’t describe. The only way to build self-confidence is to get out there and do something that scares you. Face your insecurities with tenacity and be proud of yourself, as you reclaim your power. Explore yourself and come alive from the inside out. You will feel genuine joy in your heart and be at peace with the world.
Valentine’s Day February 14, 2010
Posted by admin in : Relationships, Spiritual Growth , 1 comment so far
Hearing the word “Valentine” use to send chills down my spine. All the fascination around a holiday of love use to leave me feeling weary and disappointed from all the miserable years I spent alone. Love and flowers and chocolate and an upsurge of romance on television and stores left me jaded and bitter and hating Cupid and his stupid holiday. All I ever wanted was to love and be loved yet there I was single while the rest of the world was submersed in public displays of affection.
This want and need for some display of affection was simply a result of me not feeling loved as a child. I spent years of wasted time and energy trying to get people to love me. I struggled because it seemed the more I wanted it, the more unavailable it became. I did everything right. I became an obsessive compulsive perfectionist all to get someone…anyone’s approval. It was a desperate attempt that left me feeling even more abandoned and emotionally exhausted.
It wasn’t until I had no energy left to be perfect anymore that I was finally able to let go. I finally got to a point where I didn’t care what anymore else thought of me or whether or not they approved. I was tired of beating myself up for nothing. I had become my own worst enemy; criticizing and judging myself for everything. Being hard on myself for not living up to my own expectation of having to be this perfect person.
I couldn’t keep punishing and blaming myself for every little fault and the irony was that when I finally let go and surrendered and started the journey inward, people started showing affection and love towards me and it all seemed foreign. I didn’t know what to do with it because by that point I had already given up and no longer needed it because I was learning to love myself.
The more I got in touch with my higher self and started to live my life more consciously, the more alive I became and the more love I felt from the world around me. That’s the thing. You have to reconnect to your center and love yourself before anyone else can truly love you and if you sit around waiting for someone to come save you, you’ll be waiting a really long time. You have to save yourself and then the world becomes an ocean of love and light in a way you never dreamed possible.
So I say to you on this most beautiful delicious day of love…”Love yourself and don’t sit around sulking and feeling sorry for yourself. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, let go of any expectations. This is just a day of love to love and be loved so start by loving yourself. Do something special for yourself whether that means going shopping and buying yourself something special or taking yourself to get a massage or cooking yourself a nice meal or taking a walk out in nature. The world is your oyster!”
Hiding Behind the Mask of Addiction February 6, 2010
Posted by admin in : People, Spiritual Growth Tags:addictions, bad habits, emotional baggage, Spiritual Growth, vulnerability , add a commentAs a culture, we hide from ourselves in an attempt to mask the deeper truths that exist within us. There are old wounds, trauma, heartache, loss, and other forms of suffering trapped in the body. The brain, central nervous system, and other parts of the body are effected by our senses and by our emotions and thoughts. Judgments and criticism have reined the human psyche for years. The need for validation and approval have left us insecure and weak. The loss of control as a society and as individuals have left us scared and vulnerable. The evolution of technology and luxury of electronics have created a society where communication has become superficial. We have become sheltered and exposed to the kind of suffering that makes us shrink in the face of our corrupt government and the destruction of our divine mother.
It’s no wonder we tune out and detach from ourselves and the intimacy of another. We find one distraction after another to conceal the damaging affects life has had on us and yet we don’t even realize it. We’re all addicted to something that shelters us from seeing the truth and if we don’t do something about it, we’re going to be destroyed and there will be no one to blame, but ourselves.
We have to remove the barriers and stop self-medicating. We need to get out of our head and stop listening to the stories we tell ourselves. We must get quiet and listen for the only way we are going to hear the truth is to be still and uninhibited by the false sense of self . This takes dedication and perseverance and isn’t always easy, but if we want to evolve and clear the baggage out of our life, we must do some personal work. It’s no wonder we’re not at peace. We need to stop hiding behind our addictions and technology and be more willing to be vulnerable and open and willing to let go of the past.
Remove a bad habit out of your life for a month and see what comes up for you. Whether it be turning off the television for a month or not drinking or eating sweets, make a commitment and stand by your promise. Stuff will come up and the ego will try and pull the mask back on. You might find yourself irritated or sad or relentless in your pursuit to defy the “stupid” idea of letting go of something that has been so satisfying and rewarding for so many years, but don’t judge it. Simply stay with it and observe and see what happens. You will get a lot of clarity and insight about yourself in a way you never dreamed possible.
All the answers are within us and there is peace and love and a lot of light in our heart, but we have to be willing to reconnect to our center by clearing out the congested energy and come out from hiding behind the comforts we’ve put in to place in attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt. Take off the mask, open your heart, and dive in. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, give yourself permission to be emotional, and embrace the freedom that comes from such inquiry and self-exploration.
Validation as an Obstacle January 31, 2010
Posted by admin in : writing Tags:The Artist Way, validation, writer's block, writing , 1 comment so farWhy do we find it necessary to seek validation? Why can’t we be good enough without the approval of another? These are questions I pondered, as a result of reading, “The Artist Way.” The book is about unblocking the creative channels that prevent us from taping in to the ultimate creative source. Who knew there was actually a road map to reveal the creative genius within? I’ve spent my entire life trying to convince my artistic friends that I wasn’t creative…that I was “left-brained” and not a forward non-linear right-brained artist.
I actually believed it because that’s what I was made to think of myself as a small child growing up on a farm in a strict Fundamentalist Independent Baptist environment. Girls were meant to be seen and not heard and had no place in a man’s life except to cook his meals and conceive his children. This is the kind of brain-washing that gets programmed in the physiology of the body, which takes deliberate effort to heal and reprogram. Being aware and recognizing the blocks in your life is the first step to overcoming them, but it takes effort and a commitment to the journey within and it’s not always easy.
After years of self-exploration, I came to understand that some of the social and cultural influences of my life were actually blocking me from living a healthy and fulfilling life so I was determined to set myself free from that which hampered the flow of creative energy. Through various exercises in The Artist Way, I discovered my need for validation as one of those obstacles because I use to say I didn’t care what anyone thought of me, but then I would turn around and let judgments and negative feedback of others influence how I lived my life. Measuring success by the validation of others was clearly not congruent nor aligned with my higher purpose and it was obviously preventing me from writing without second-guessing myself.
I was too caught up with how other people might feel about the things I had to say so I was actually writing with an intention not to hurt anyone’s feelings, which was ultimately preventing me from writing at all. In the process, I realized I would never get the world’s stamp of approval, as we are all on different journeys with different perceptions and different influences and upbringing.
If every author wrote for someones approval, there wouldn’t be any books to read so I can only write for myself and let go of what other people might think because what happens if I successfully publish my book and still don’t have every one’s approval? Does that mean my book was a failure? No. I can’t judge my writing based on what other people think. I have to be authentic and write for me because I love to write and love to share my experience in hopes that others will learn something about their own authentic self and grow in a similar way.
Accept the Ignorance and own the Anger January 18, 2010
Posted by admin in : Life 101, People, Relationships Tags:anger, awareness, consciousness, Ignorance , add a commentI spoke to a good friend the other night and she was really upset with all the anger she was feeling towards her mom. She just wanted it to go away so she could be happy again and I could relate to what she was saying. It’s frustrating not being able to understand some of the choices or decisions people make in their life, but there’s nothing you can do about it because each person is on their own journey exploring life through his or her own eyes and only acting in accordance to what he or she knows. It may not make sense to you, but that’s life.
You will only exhaust yourself trying to understand so have faith that everything happens for a reason and everyone is interconnected and a part of the greater whole so every person and every being has its place in the world. If your consciousness expands and someone else’s doesn’t, whether it be a partner, a family member, a friend, or colleague, you probably won’t be able to connect with them in the same way, as we are only able to operate within the capacity of our past experiences and social and cultural upbringing. You simply can’t explain the way you see life and expect everyone to “get it” because we’re all in different places spiritually, physically, and emotionally. You can only love them for who they are and the path they are on and know they are doing the best they can with the tools they were given.
And you can’t take it personally because there’s a lot of ignorance out there and a lot of people sleep walking through life. Some people just don’t get it and will never get it…not in this lifetime any way and there’s nothing you can do about it so just accept what you’re feeling and be present with whatever arises. Every time I try and understand people and some of the choices they make, I get angry and I feel alone in my thoughts and beliefs and it makes me wish I never started down the spiritual path, but I would never go back…not for anything in the world.
I just have to honor my feelings as they come up and not label them as good or bad. Feelings are a part of life and we need to allow and accept all that is within us, which is why I laugh when someone asks how I’m doing and I say, “angry” and they look at me like I’m crazy. People think I’m always “happy,” but I’m human and I get downright mad at times and I’m not going to suppress my feelings and pretend they don’t exist because I know the anger or sadness or whatever I’m feeling will subside a lot sooner if I just allow myself to feel whatever it is I’m feeling.
Developing a Home Yoga Practice January 14, 2010
Posted by admin in : Yoga Tags:commitment, home practice, realistic expectations, Yoga , add a commentA home practice can empower you beyond measure, but the only way to truly understand the power behind it is to try it and see for yourself. Just make sure not to take on too much, too fast because often times we set good intentions to start something new and then never follow through with it because our goals were too too high or unrealistic.
The first hurdle I stumbled upon, as I set out to create a home practice was the time constraint. Getting up and doing yoga every morning for 20 minutes wasn’t a realistic expectation for someone just beginning, but my ego was stuck in the more is better mentality and my unrealistic expectations made it just about impossible for me to practice every day. After years of struggling to understand why I couldn’t incorporate a daily routine in to my life, I decided to try and do it for just 5 minutes a day and not only did it work, I inevitably ended up practicing longer because once my body started to move, it didn’t want to stop and I was okay with it since it was my choice and not something I was forcing myself to do.
The second hurdle was locking myself in to a certain time frame. People say meditation and yoga practice should be done at the same time every day because our bodies demand routine and certain rest periods in between periods of activity in order to receive the full benefits of a spiritual practice. Well, it wasn’t initially realistic for me to lock down a specific time so I gave myself freedom to practice whenever I wanted. I had to trust and listen to my own inner teacher as to what would work best for me and setting up a strict schedule in the beginning wasn’t best for my rebellious inner child.
The third hurdle I had to get past was thinking I wouldn’t get anything out of a shorter practice, as I was so conditioned to the all or nothing mentality. My ego kept creating excuses not to practice until I changed my frame of thinking. What I realized was that even 5 minutes a day was good for my body and mind and doing it a little each day was better than simply doing one long practice a week.
Good habits take time and patience to instill so be kind and gentle with yourself. Set realistic expectations, give yourself freedom and room to make mistakes, and let go of how it’s suppose to look. A home yoga practice is like brushing your teeth. It’s not something you think about or question, right? You do it because it keeps your teeth healthy and clean. It’s a minimal investment that will pay off for years to come so roll out your mat and have some fun!