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Unemployed July 13, 2008

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Being unemployed isn\'t so bad

It’s official…I’m unemployed. I’m still not quite sure how I feel about this newly acquired title, but I’m trying not to stress about it. One day I’m graduating from teacher training and the next I’m unemployed. Talk about closing doors!!! It  has been just about two weeks and I haven’t completely lost my mind, but I also gave myself a little time to let go and have some fun without worrying about what was next. 

I spent the 1st week of being unemployed at the beach and now I’m in Orlando visiting my friends and family. I head back to Atlanta tomorrow, which is when realty will set in. Thankfully I have an appointment with a career counselor the day after I get back. I’m praying he will give me some direction on where to go from here because I’m feeling a bit lost.

I’m in a very interesting place, as I have no attachments…no property…no job…no pets…nothing holding me down, but the gravity of mother earth. I have the ability and freedom to go absolutely anywhere or do whatever I want. Not too many people can say the same so I’m trying to embrace the change and trust that I’m exactly where I’m suppose to be. There are some people who would kill to be where I’m at, but the grass is always greener on the other side, right?

I don’t know if it’s because I just graduated from teacher training or I’m getting older and have learned from past experience, but I have this uncanny calmness for so much change going on. Not too long ago I would be completely out of my mind and worrying incessantly, but I guess I finally learned to have faith in the Universe because she’s never let me know before. 

I’ve learned so much about manifesting and creating my own destiny, but I feel a bit powerless over all this uncertainty…fear is a funny thing…it’s with us whether we like it or not…as positive as we are, there’s always this little voice, which I call the “ego, ” who wants you to believe you are not good enough.

I know I’m more than my thoughts or the ego that tries to take precedence in my life so I refuse to let fear destroy the beautiful gifts I’ve earned through all the hard work I’ve endured. It’s just time for me to make a decision and I want it to be the best decision…no regrets. I desperately want to do my own thing…work for myself…not answer to the corporate schedule or restricted time off.

I have two passions…writing and teaching yoga…why can’t I pursue these and still earn a living? I deserve to do what I love and love what I do, but I’m not quite sure how to get there from here. So many yoga teachers are starving yoga teachers and so it’s scary thinking about leaving the corporate world and relying on something that pays so little and doesn’t offer insurance or retirement. My ego wants me to believe it can’t be done, which is where fear comes in to play and suddenly I think about running back to the safe predictable professional world of benefits, a salary, and paid time off. What is the right decision? I guess I’m the only one who can answer that, but that just brings me back to the beginning.

My head just spins in circles every time I think about it so I’m trying not to think about it and just stay in the moment knowing that everything is happening as it should, but it’s so much easier said than done. It’s all about trust…trusting in a higher power at work and trusting in myself.

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