Silent Retreat January 20, 2009
Posted by admin in : Meditation Tags:Dr. Bhagwan, Meditation, mental chatter, purging, retreat, silence , add a commentIf you’ve never had the opportunity to start a year off in a retreat, you might want to consider doing it some time, as it’s a great way to ground the holiday energy and welcome in the New Year. I went on a 4 day meditation retreat taught by Dr. Bhagwan who is a world renowned meditation teacher from India. He is known to embody a deep inner silence and is able to guide students to a place of deep inquiry without having to say a word.
I sat in utter silence for 2 hours during the 1st evening session and 3 hours the next morning without any guidance or direction from Dr. Bhagwan. It was mentally, physically, & emotionally challenging and I was extremely irritated, as my emotions and thoughts ran like wild fire. The physical discomfort sent pangs throughout my body to the point I wanted to get up and run out of the room. All I wanted to do was experience the quintessential bliss of nothingness yet I couldn’t seem to reach a point of silence, as I was either fixated on the physical discomfort or the ridiculous mental chatter that seemed to have a life of its own.
I was stuck between the two worlds without reprieve and yet Dr. Bhagwan seemed to sit comfortably and at peace with the world. I was silently cursing obscenities at this great sage, as he seemed to have no remorse for what I was going through as a novice meditator. I desperately wanted him to speak or give me a couple minutes to walk around and stretch my legs, as my body wasn’t use to sitting so long. Of course the holy man sitting before me knew exactly what I was going through and had every bit of compassion, but he had a certain method to his teaching and it was all part of the process. Meditation retreats are effective because they pull out the muck in our lives and allow divine light to filter in through the veil that separates us from knowing our true selves.
When a person meditates, the mind slowly settles in to silence, as awareness is brought to the breath or a particular mantra. The heart rate slows and the central nervous channel calms, which is when the body starts to release stress. Once stress is released, there’s activity in the body. Activity in the body then triggers mental activity, which creates more thoughts. I use to wonder the point of meditation if there would always be more thoughts, but the more I sat, the more I experienced larger periods of silence. Through a regular practice, I began to realize the gaps between each thought were widening and I was experiencing more and more moments of pure consciousness, which enabled me to experience something other than the physical body, the thoughts, feelings, and mental images of my external experience. The truth of my existence was slowly being unveiled by going within and eliminating the mental chatter, which allowed me to settle in to a place of deep inner silence.
Dr. Bhagwan eventually spoke, but it wasn’t until the 3rd round so I had ample amount of time to purge all the thoughts and emotions that tormented me during the 1st two sessions. Had he not let me sit for such a long time, his words wouldn’t have had as much meaning so I was thankful for the initial purification, as it created space for me to absorb the profound wisdom he had to share and it enabled me to finally be able to settle in to a place of deep inner stillness where there was nothing to think, nothing to feel, or nothing to do.
Some of my most profound awakenings have come from challenging myself and stepping out of my comfort zone, as the insight and awareness that come from sitting through dark moments and challenging times are deeply profound.
Dubai September 28, 2008
Posted by admin in : Travels Tags:consciousness, Dubai, energy, expectations, judgments, Meditation, psychoenergetic, trust , add a comment
I honestly didn’t know anything about Dubai or what country it was in until a couple weeks before I left. I mean seriously…Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Jordan, Iran…they’re all in the same country, right? Okay, I’m kidding. I realize they are all separate countries. I just never paid much attention to any one in particular. They all linked together in my brain as the “Middle East.” I never realized the United Arab of Emirates was actually a country and not part of Saudi Arabia, but this is one of the reasons I like to travel.
I was given an itinerary for the trip, but I didn’t pay much attention to it, as my focus was getting my business off the ground. I put all my trust in Deborah and her husband who organized the trip. She’s a good friend of mine and I knew she would take care of every last detail. Her husband lives in India and she has been there many times so I knew they had everything under control. The only thing I had to do was apply for a Visa and make sure I was at the airport the night of the flight.
On some level I didn’t really want to know any of the details because I didn’t want there to be any expectations. In my mind I was going to India to experience nirvana in one of the holiest places in the world. I didn’t need to worry about the details or stress over anything out of my control. This was a trip about trust and letting go so that’s what I did. I knew we were flying in to Dubai and I knew it wasn’t actually in India, but in my mind we were going to India so Dubai was somewhere in India, right? I didn’t even give it a second thought until I heard someone talking about the 5 hour flight from Dubai to New Delhi and then it all started to sink in.
The three days in Dubai were spent exploring my inner “self” in an attempt to purify my body of negative thoughts and/or deep rooted negative emotions. I was grateful we stayed in a 5-star hotel with a beautiful outdoor swimming pool lined with colorful flowers and lush landscaping, a state of the art workout facility, sauna, Internet service, lavish buffets, comfortable beds, and impeccable service. It was all very comfortable and pleasing to the physical body, which made it possible for me to do such deep work on my most inner self.
We learned several powerful meditation techniques, which were designed to take us deep in to the core of our being where serious psychoenergetic work could be done. I thought I purged everything during teacher training. I was done…finished…ready to fill up with divine goodness. Right! Keep dreaming! There are apparently layers upon layers of stuff waiting to come out and there will always be more layers to work through, as spiritual work is not something that ever ends. It’s a continuous evolution. The world’s largest proverbial onion!!!
The clarity and consciousness you receive from doing this work is divine, but it is a commitment and you have to be ready before you embark on such a journey. You have to be ready to face your fears…pain from grieving and loss…insecurities…painful memories…traumatic experiences…sexual issues…co-dependency…addictions…anger…depression…imperfections. It’s not for everyone and I would only suggest it to someone who was really ready to experience a heightened state of consciousness and had the right teachers for support and proper guidance, as its intense.
There was a part of me that felt like I was on vacation, as I was spoiled by the luxury of waking up and going for a morning swim and then relaxing in the sauna before taking a hot shower and heading down to an extravagant breakfast. I also got to spend my evenings touring the booming city of Dubai…driving by some of the most innovative real estate projects in the world. It is truly a unique city of free trade and tourism with a 37 billion dollar economy and the most spectacular skyline you’ve ever seen.
The other part of me felt like I was in spiritual boot camp, as my days were spent in lecture learning techniques to connect to my higher self. I had to sit through many intense meditations, which stirred up emotions and brought up judgments towards myself and others. Meditations are able to purify and help the body let go of stuff that no longer serves you so as emotions and pent up feelings are released, all kinds of things come up. Things you don’t really want to see, but need to see in order to heal and grow spiritually. It takes a lot of energy to heal at this level, which can leave you depleted and emotionally drained, but working through these types of things creates an energetic shift that brings an awareness and sense of self you can’t put in to words.
By the last day my mind refused to absorb anything else. I was frustrated and irritated and needed to disconnect from all of it so a group of us went out to have some fun, but we paid for it because we had to check out of the hotel at 2am that night and we didn’t get back until 11pm. I literally slept 2 hours, but it was worth it because we were able to get a really nice meal and a glass of wine, which I desperately needed.
Golf June 11, 2008
Posted by admin in : Fun Times Tags:golf, Meditation, Yoga, yoga for golfers , add a comment
I played my first game of golf and it was AWESOME!!! I always wondered why the boys liked it so much, but I was never invited to play so I didn’t think much about it. Now I know…the secret is out. It all made sense to me standing out in the middle of the golf course surrounded by trees and blankets of lush green. The only sound you heard was nature. It was quiet and pristine. The course moved around and about mother earth’s natural curves. It was beautiful and perfectly serene.
I realized something profound as I stood there at one of the pars with my driver in hand concentrating intently on the ball I was getting ready to hit…it was completely silent…not a word spoken nor a golf cart heard. It was just me, the greens, the driver, and the ball. I was fully present…not in the past or the future…just standing there in the now. This is why guys love the sport…this is their meditation…their Zen…their place of peace. I suddenly understood why so many business deals were made on the golf course and why so many men love to play. Being out on the golf course enables professionals to get out of their head…to let go of their thoughts and just be present with whatever comes up and whatever comes up is most often what is most true because truth will only show it’s face when the mind is quiet enough to listen to the pure consciousness that exists within all of us. A business decision made in the present moment without any analytical thinking or forced thought forms is usually the best decision for all involved.
The insight was incredible. So much made sense and it just made me smile. Awareness is a beautiful thing! I find it quite ironic how quickly I fell in love with the sport considering I never thought in a million years I would ever step foot on a golf course. It gave me the same high as a yoga class. It was beautiful. Golf is definitely a form of meditation and I finally understand why so many golf pros are being advised to take up yoga to shave strokes off their game and to lower their scores.
Golf is an asymmetrical sport and although yoga is comprised of many asymmetrical poses, the full practice is all about symmetry. Yoga is all about balance and concentration, which are two key components in a game of golf. Many people get caught up in the bio mechanics of the swing losing focus on the mental aspect of the game. Proper breathing techniques brings more attention to the swing, which is crucial considering all the details involved. Another reason to increase mental clarity is to manage the intense emotions that arise during a game. Professional golf players are much better equipped to handle fear and anger that arise when yoga is incorporated in to their life.
Twists and lower back strengthening are key yoga poses for those looking to improve their game. These and other poses will strengthen the very muscles that cause major swing faults when too tight. This includes the forearms, wrists and hands, which rarely get stretched and can cause inadequacies in a golfer’s swing. Yoga will also improve flexibility and will structurally align the body so you are better able to move in a full range of motion gaining more power in the upper and lower body.
Yoga and golf are a unique marriage of two distinctly similar worlds. It is a natural union of the mind and body…the bio mechanic and energetic. Golf is an intense sport driven by power, accuracy, posture, balance and focus. It requires a calm centered mental state, which is the very principals of any yoga practice. Before you turn your nose up to yoga, think again…yoga will bring a balanced emotional state, increase in strength and flexibility, and peace of mind.
I didn’t just score 1 double bogey, but 3 in my first game and the second game I got a double bogey and a par…how’s that for a beginner? Listen to the ego brag, right? Hey, I’m still human. Besides, I was proud of the two games I played. It was so much fun and I can’t thank my brothers and cousin enough for being so patient with me. They treated me just like one of the guys, which made it that much more. They even shared their cigars…woo rah!!! I probably would not have enjoyed it as much had I been in different company. I needed to play with people who were willing to teach and be patient with the process, as well as, be forgiving with all the balls I lost in the water, woods, and sand pits. Thanks guys…you rock!!!