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Developing a Home Yoga Practice January 14, 2010

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A home practice can empower you beyond measure, but the only way to truly understand the power behind it is to try it and see for yourself. Just make sure not to take on too much, too fast because often times we set good intentions to start something new and then never follow through with it because our goals were too too high or unrealistic.

The first hurdle I stumbled upon, as I set out to create a home practice was the time constraint. Getting up and doing yoga every morning  for 20 minutes wasn’t a realistic expectation for someone just beginning, but my ego was stuck in the more is better mentality and my unrealistic expectations made it just about impossible for me to practice every day. After years of struggling to understand why I couldn’t incorporate a daily routine in to my life, I decided to try and do it for just 5 minutes a day and not only did it work, I inevitably ended up practicing longer because once my body started to move, it didn’t want to stop and I was okay with it since it was my choice and not something I was forcing myself to do.

The second hurdle was locking myself in to a certain time frame. People say meditation and yoga practice should be done at the same time every day because our bodies demand routine and certain rest periods in between periods of activity in order to receive the full benefits of a spiritual practice. Well, it wasn’t initially realistic for me to lock down a specific time so I gave myself freedom to practice whenever I wanted.  I had to trust and listen to my own inner teacher as to what would work best for me and setting up a strict schedule in the beginning wasn’t best for my rebellious inner child.

The third hurdle I had to get past was thinking I wouldn’t get anything out of a shorter practice, as I was so conditioned to the all or nothing mentality. My ego kept creating excuses not to practice until I changed my frame of thinking. What I realized was that even 5 minutes a day was good for my body and mind and doing it a little each day was better than simply doing one long practice a week.

Good habits take time and patience to instill so be kind and gentle with yourself. Set realistic expectations, give yourself freedom and room to make mistakes, and let go of how it’s suppose to look. A home yoga practice is like brushing your teeth. It’s not something you think about or question, right? You do it because it keeps your teeth healthy and clean. It’s a minimal investment that will pay off for years to come so roll out your mat and have some fun!

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Love Interrupted December 11, 2009

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About a month ago, I posted a piece about letting go of the dream to have a family, but in letting go, I realized a higher truth…my truth. The only two things I’ve ever known for certain were that my feelings were real and that I wanted a family, but somewhere along the line I allowed other people’s jaded views on relationships to interfere with mine. I’ve been told that moving in with someone or marrying someone or having a child with someone changes everything. The romance, the excitement of being together, the relationship; everything. Well of course it does…that’s life. We’re meant to evolve and grow and change is a part of the process and if the relationship doesn’t work out, so what? Move on.

If I were afraid of being hurt, I would have missed out on some really beautiful relationships. I don’t regret anything I’ve done because I’ve always jumped in headfirst and really lived whatever experience was before me regardless of how it ended. And maybe I’m not meant to be a mother or a wife, but I want to know that I at least have the option…that it’s a possibility. And if I’m not meant to exercise the option to have either, I, at the very least, want to know I’m with someone who loves me enough to want to share his life with me under the same roof…to share space with me and all my imperfections.

Sure, nothing will ever be as spectacular as the first moment you met or the first kiss you shared, but there’s something to be said about really getting to know someone and loving them that much more. I don’t want to wake up 10 years from now living in my house with my boyfriend living in his. I want to spend every night beside his warm body and wake up to the soft morning whisper of his voice. I want to have coffee with him and see each other off, as we begin our day. And I want to be there when he comes home from work to hear about his day and life and everything in between. I want to be there to support his dreams and share in his journey. I want to play and laugh and explore and live life together and I’m not going to settle for someone who would rather be alone than to take a chance in love.

We all have a past and we’ve all been hurt, but if you hold back your heart, then you are living in fear and you are living in past experience. How can you create new experiences and grow spiritually if you are not willing to take a chance and move forward? Life is too short not to open your heart and love like you’ve never been hurt, but perhaps some people are just not capable of the kind of love I have in my heart. I don’t know. I just don’t understand why someone would let the person they love walk away because they’re afraid of repeating the past. Only one of two things could happen. Either the relationship would work or it wouldn’t and if it didn’t, then you would be alone any way so why cho0se to be alone without giving it a chance. If it did work, then you would get to experience a love greater than you ever expected so why not at least try?

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Surrender August 16, 2009

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I’m an idealist and someone who sees the world through rose-colored sunglasses. I believe in marriage and children and dream about the fairytale wedding, but the older I get, the more skepticism I face. In particular, the men I seem to attract are either previously married and jaded by the fact it didn’t work or just don’t have a desire to make that kind of commitment. If it were just them, it would be one thing, but a lot of people are cynics when it comes to matters of the heart. I’ve actually had people ask me if I ever thought about adoption or the possibility of freezing my eggs, which I found quite hysterical considering I’m not even 40 yet, but something hit home recently when someone said to me that maybe I wasn’t meant to be a mother or a wife…that perhaps God had other plans for me.

I struggled with this because I didn’t want to give up on my dream. I’m not a quitter. I’m a fighter and a believer in the power of manifestation and the law of attraction so I had to do some soul searching and self-inquiry. What I realized is that it isn’t about me giving up or losing faith. It’s about me making a conscious decision to let go and surrender something that is maybe not meant to be. Perhaps the advice I received was right and I’m not destined to be a wife or bring a child in to this world. Maybe my fate is different than what I thought or hoped for and it’s not to say I don’t believe in marriage anymore because I absolutely whole-heartedly do. But what I believe in even more than walking down the aisle is loving someone enough to be devoted to the relationship no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. I believe in a love where two people are willing to make sacrifices without detriment because true love is a commitment that far exceeds any ordinary relationship.

It’s much easier to walk away from something you’re not legally commited to so I always thought marriage was about making a statement of being fully devoted, but if you truly love someone with all your heart, than you would stay and work through anything whether you signed a marriage license or not.  A faithful relationship means two people are willing to do whatever it takes to grow together and work though the difficult times. It demands a little more effort, but this is how seeds of growth are planted. With the right amount of light and love, these seeds germinate in the soul and transformation occurs on a deep spiritual level.   

Take my friends and family for instance. I love them more than anything in this world and would never let anything come between us. I would give my life for any one of them and would do anything in my power to resolve an issue that came between us yet I’m not married or legally bound to them in any way. It’s just goes without saying.

I believe in the sappy fairytale dream of being utterly and passionately in love, but at the end of the day, I don’t need to be married to feel that kind of joy. I’m taking a new approach and making a choice to let go because I trust that whatever is meant to be will be.

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Taking the “Red” Pill June 15, 2009

Posted by admin in : Spiritual Growth Tags:, , , , , , , , 1 comment so far

Making a commitment to walk the spiritual path and be devoted to your higher self is like taking the red pill in the movie Matrix. Once you take it, there’s no going back. You can no longer claim blissful ignorance once you’ve been freed from the delusional reality you were once living. You have to be steadfast in your pursuit for happiness because you are no longer in the dark and have to be responsible and accountable for your actions. This often means being knee-deep in spiritual work, as you peel away layers of the proverbial onion and it’s not always pleasant and sometimes it’s downright painful, but it’s invaluable and feeds you in a way money can’t.

Spiritual work brings light and love and states of bliss that fill your entire being with such presence and divine awareness. The more work you do, the more you experience states of pure consciousness where life makes sense and you are right with the world. Being committed to a spiritual journey brings awareness and sense of self that fills your life with such peace and balance, as you are freed from the ego and the doom and gloom of being a mortal in this unjust world. Everyone has access to this joy, but unfortunately, many people are content with the blue pill because ignorance is bliss. Some just don’t care to do the work and I don’t blame them because there are definitely days I wish I could go back. 

The kind of joy you get from doing spiritual work doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a daily practice and takes perseverance, as some days are easier than others and you never quite know when life is going to throw you a lemon. You just have to be able to take the lemon and make lemonade and appreciate the gifts however they come. We create our reality through our intentions and actions so if there is something we need to learn, we subconsciously put ourselves in situations that teach us about ourselves and the world in which we live.

Whether it is a friend, a family member, a random stranger, a partner, or a colleague, relationships are opportunities to learn things about ourselves and grow both personally and professionally. Once you understand this, you begin to cultivate the seed of awareness and a shift begins to happen. The lessons begin to exponentially multiple as your consciousness expands because your able to see the bigger picture.

The more your consciousness expands, the more your self defeating limited ego tries to regain power by telling you stories that make you feel insecure and weak because the ego wants to keep you in a state of ignorance. It becomes an internal conflict and struggle that can be overwhelming because on one hand, you know you’re growing and learning something beautiful, but on the other hand, your ego makes you feel worthless and doubt what you know to be true.  

If you find yourself pointing fingers or placing blame on someone, take a step back and look within yourself to find the gift in the emotions you’re feeling because you’re just clearing stuff out and making space for more light to flow in your life. Relationships help you get rid of baggage that no longer serve you so don’t see arguments or challenging situations as a conflict. See them has opportunities to learn something new about yourself. Once you own your own stuff, clarity will follow and you will be one step closer to knowing your true essential nature.

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Is Marriage Overrated? April 24, 2009

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Why do so many people think marriage is overrated? Could it be because they’ve already experienced it and no longer need or want that kind of commitment in their life or is it that they had a bad experience and don’t want to feel hurt or loss again? Whatever the reason, it truly saddens me every time I hear someone say, “Why get married?” or “Don’t get married…everything changes.”

I believe in the sacred union of two people coming together to share their life and I believe in love…the kind of love that grows deeper every day…the kind of love that makes you want to do right in your life…the kind of love that makes your heart smile every time you look at the person you love…the kind of love that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning…the kind of love that gets you through the hard times and picks you up when life gets you down…the kind of love that has no boundaries…the kind of love that enables you to trust…the kind of love that makes you want to treat someone with respect…the kind of love that is eternal and sacred in the eyes of your higher self.

I don’t necessarily believe in having one eternal soul mate because people change and grow in different directions. I think we may have several loves in our life and that it’s okay to open our hearts more than once. Divorce isn’t a bad thing and I don’t think it’s bad to be married more than once. Relationships are beautiful and they shouldn’t have to end in tragedy. It’s just a separating of ways. Take the gifts and the beautiful lessons you learned from the relationship and walk away with an appreciation of the time you spent, but don’t say marriage is overrated. Of course everything changes…you’re married…you’re committed in a way you weren’t before. You’re more intertwined spiritually, emotionally, intellectually. You’re making a serious commitment to one another, which is sacred and meaningful in so many ways.

Making that kind of change in your life is difficult and challenging, as you are no longer growing individually, but collectively with another soul. It takes two very strong people to make that kind of step in life, but think about all the growth and insight you get from sharing your life so intimately. You get the opportunity to learn about yourself on a different level, as you grow and discover things about yourself you didn’t know. The downside is that yes, you might have to sacrifice the relationship because you’re no longer compatible once you realize who you really are, but it doesn’t make it a “loss.”

Having said all that, I do believe you get to a point in life when you are so comfortable with who you are as a person that it’s possible to  meet someone and spend the rest of your life with that one person because you no longer need someone to fill a void in your life. Once you find yourself, you can experience life with another person in a whole different way, but you have to be confident in yourself and where you’re going and what you’re doing.

You have to be willing to own your own karmic baggage and not to use blame or guilt or issues to point fingers. You have to know how to communicate and be able to trust in yourself and your partner. You have to mutually respect one another and honor the relationship as something dynamic and ever changing. You have to accept your partner for who they are and not judge them or ask them to change. You have to be comfortable in your own skin and take time for yourself. It is possible and it’s not always easy, but marriage is a beautiful opportunity to fully engage with another human being on a healthy mature level. It’s magical and I don’t think it’s overrated. I think it’s fantastically beautiful!

So this is where my blog was going to end, but then I had a conversation with someone later in the evening that led me to ask the following questions:

Why get married? Why can’t you have a deep meaningful connection and level of commitment without having to legalize it by an ordained minister? Why can’t two people have a ceremonious relationship without actually having to be married?

Hmm…I don’t have an answer, but the thought of never being married makes me a bit sad. Perhaps it was always about the dream of wearing a beautiful white dress and walking down the aisle and being a princess for the day. Perhaps it was just the Cinderella fairytale I read in a book. I don’t know, but I have enough friends who are happily married to know that it’s a wonderful experience to be married to the person you love and I will not lose hope or faith in happily ever after.

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