Surrender August 16, 2009
Posted by admin in : Relationships Tags:commitment, love, marriage, Relationships , trackbackI’m an idealist and someone who sees the world through rose-colored sunglasses. I believe in marriage and children and dream about the fairytale wedding, but the older I get, the more skepticism I face. In particular, the men I seem to attract are either previously married and jaded by the fact it didn’t work or just don’t have a desire to make that kind of commitment. If it were just them, it would be one thing, but a lot of people are cynics when it comes to matters of the heart. I’ve actually had people ask me if I ever thought about adoption or the possibility of freezing my eggs, which I found quite hysterical considering I’m not even 40 yet, but something hit home recently when someone said to me that maybe I wasn’t meant to be a mother or a wife…that perhaps God had other plans for me.
I struggled with this because I didn’t want to give up on my dream. I’m not a quitter. I’m a fighter and a believer in the power of manifestation and the law of attraction so I had to do some soul searching and self-inquiry. What I realized is that it isn’t about me giving up or losing faith. It’s about me making a conscious decision to let go and surrender something that is maybe not meant to be. Perhaps the advice I received was right and I’m not destined to be a wife or bring a child in to this world. Maybe my fate is different than what I thought or hoped for and it’s not to say I don’t believe in marriage anymore because I absolutely whole-heartedly do. But what I believe in even more than walking down the aisle is loving someone enough to be devoted to the relationship no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. I believe in a love where two people are willing to make sacrifices without detriment because true love is a commitment that far exceeds any ordinary relationship.
It’s much easier to walk away from something you’re not legally commited to so I always thought marriage was about making a statement of being fully devoted, but if you truly love someone with all your heart, than you would stay and work through anything whether you signed a marriage license or not. A faithful relationship means two people are willing to do whatever it takes to grow together and work though the difficult times. It demands a little more effort, but this is how seeds of growth are planted. With the right amount of light and love, these seeds germinate in the soul and transformation occurs on a deep spiritual level.
Take my friends and family for instance. I love them more than anything in this world and would never let anything come between us. I would give my life for any one of them and would do anything in my power to resolve an issue that came between us yet I’m not married or legally bound to them in any way. It’s just goes without saying.
I believe in the sappy fairytale dream of being utterly and passionately in love, but at the end of the day, I don’t need to be married to feel that kind of joy. I’m taking a new approach and making a choice to let go because I trust that whatever is meant to be will be.
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