Grief

Everyone experiences loss or some sort of heartache at some point in their life; even those who live a privileged life. Grief, on the other hand, is a whole different story. 

Deep mournful loss doesn’t hit everybody, but when it does, you better hold on. It’s a kind of stress you'll feel in the pit of your stomach and the back of your throat. It will, at times, make you physically sick and you will beg to a God you’re not even sure exists. It will cast a shadow of doubt and the darkness will bring a sorrow that will ache (deeply). 

You will cry. You will scream. You will fall into a slump and let days pass you by. Some days you’ll wonder how you even got out of bed or got your kid to school. Other days you’ll see the sun and feel the light and sense a glimmer of hope and the next day you’ll wake up and there will be another wave that will take you to your knees and you will (literally) think you're dying. 

It will feel like a long and painful death like somebody is (slowly) squeezing the life out of you and you’ll wonder if it will ever end, but I promise you, it will end and you will survive. 

You have to come face to face with yourself and sit in your truth and then you must surrender your fear and give up the need for control. You must release the shame, guilt and resentment you've been carrying around for years and there is no way around it. The only way through it is through it. And it will be hard and you will want to give up, but you have to keep going. You have to keep moving. One day, one step, one breath at a time. 

And then it will end and you will be without feeling. You won't know what to do. You’ll just be there in the moment on the other end of it and you'll be grateful, but vulnerable and tired and unsure of what’s next. Your old life as you knew it will be gone and you will feel a sense of loss. 

The thing you just survived will always be a part of you and you will be forever changed, but you will be more like yourself than you've ever been and you will feel a sense of love and empathy you've never felt before. You're life will have more meaning and purpose and you will find a new way of being in the world.

The loss of a business ... depression ... a disability ... mental illness ... divorce ... adultery ... sexual abuse ... discrimination ... suicide ... death ... cancer ... loss of a child ... this is the kind of shit that will turn you inside out. It's deep and dark and will break you into a million pieces, but then there will be light and you will rebuild yourself in to the person you were always meant to be. 

We are survivors by nature and emotionally equipped to handle these sorts of things, but some are more able than others so we have to learn how to help our brothers and sisters when they are in need. We’re in this life together and I will make it my life’s mission to gracefully guide others through difficult times. Whether in real estate or on the mat, I will hold your heart and I will hold it like I've held my own, tenderly and lovingly.  
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Love & Light,
BeAnne
🖤🖤🖤