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From Dancing Toes to All my Woes August 24, 2011

Posted by admin in : Injuries, Spiritual Growth , trackback

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What is it about life that can have us floating around one moment and then completely grounded the next? Is it mother earth’s way of keeping us in check? Is it our collective consciousness seeking balance? Is it just a way for our higher selves to foster change so that we can grow and expand our awareness?

Although I would prefer to live behind rose colored sunglasses, I do get that being deeply connected to mankind requires doing a little soul searching, which means allowing our lives to ebb and flow through life’s highs and lows. This gives us the ability to stay grounded and connected and to have compassion, but it doesn’t always come so easily.

Before Saturday, I was gleaming from leaving corporate to pursue my passion to teach. My relationship was feeling rich and abundant and I was savoring every moment of my insatiable life. The sun was shining bright on my face, as we drove up in the convertible to the lake. I was smiling ear to ear sipping on a latte while all 10 toes danced happily across the dashboard.

That was obviously my high. The low came several hours later when I was thrown off a jet ski. I’m not exactly sure how it all went down because it happened so fast, but the impact of the water felt like a brick hit my face. I thought I was knocked unconscious until I realized there was blood running down my face.

I spent the next 48 hours in an extreme amount of pain. Everything from my teeth to the top of my head throbbed and the left side of my neck ached. Usually my life flows and I’m able to go where the wind takes me, but when I’m physically thrown off center, my mind becomes controlling and incessant.

Mind: Don’t be a baby … be strong … brush it off … it’s no big deal … it’s just a tiny little cut

Self: It is a big deal … it scared the shit out of me … I’m in a lot of pain … my whole face is throbbing … I think I might pass out

Mind: You’re going to ruin everyone’s evening … get it together

Self: How do I know if I’m okay … how do I know if I need stitches … what if I have a concussion … should I call my mom … I shouldn’t worry her … can I take Tylenol and Advil together … how much can I take … what just happened … I’m feeling faint … I really think I’m going to pass out

And the Mind went on and on through the next day too …

Mind: This is the first weekend in a while you don’t have to teach … you should get up and take a yoga class … you’re head doesn’t hurt that bad … you’re fine … now get up

Self: It’s okay to rest and take it easy and watch chick flicks all day … laying on the couch and eating pizza and ice cream is okay

Mind: Now you’re the victim and all this laying around and eating crap is going to make you feel worse … you should’ve gone to yoga … you’re being such a baby

Self: Shut up … I don’t have to be a tough girl … I’m not a tough girl … my  head hurts and I want to cry

And on and on it went …

After all the mindless noise began to settle, I found myself contemplating the bigger picture. Accidents happen and it could’ve been worse so I start thinking about the things that are really important to me like having a family and being a wife and a mom. My mind wants to label this analytical thinking, as bad, but is it? Life is way too short and perhaps this is why things like this happen in our lives … to get us thinking about things that matter.

If we were always floating around with our heads in the clouds we would never be forced to go deeper in to our selves and so although we must let go to a certain extent and accept our lives and allow them the flow organically, there’s something to be said about making conscious decisions. We have to use life, as a tool, and accidents, illness, and life’s challenges are a way of teaching us to connect to the body and get in touch with what’s important.

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