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Leave the “Crap” out of the Yoga Room August 29, 2011

Posted by admin in : People, Spiritual Growth, Yoga , 3comments

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I subbed a yoga class for a friend over the weekend, which always brings up a little hesitation with the students since they are expecting to see their favorite teacher, but I also know that we always get what we need, regardless of who’s teaching so I did what I do, as all teachers do … I opened my heart and allowed my own unique style of teaching to emerge.

We all have our own language and way of being in the yoga room that differentiates us from every one else. It’s one of the things I love about yoga. Every class is different and every teacher has his or her own unique style. As I guided the yogis in to prayer crescent twist, I told them to breathe deeply in to the pose, as twists have a way of wringing the “crap” out of our bodies.

It’s not like I think about every word I say. The words are unforeseeable, as they come from within and materialize in the moment. I have to trust my body and inner wisdom to know what to say and when to say it and if someone takes offense, then perhaps that’s something for them to pore over in their own time.

Even though you have no idea how a class full of strangers is going to react to your style of teaching, you have to let go of the expectations and judgments knowing that you’re doing your best. As I guided the class out of svasana, the energy felt received and I felt comforted by the sleepy eyes and the peaceful calm that permeated the sea of mats. I received a lot of heartfelt appreciation and I was feeling good until a student came up to me and said, “You know … you’re  a really good teacher, but you need to leave the “crap” out of the yoga room.” What?!?!?!?!?! “What crap?” She went on to say that there was no place for negative words in the yoga room and that I really needed to be careful about the words I use.

Although I was completely taken off guard and dumbfounded, I heard myself say, “Thank you for being honest and for sharing with me. I appreciate you feeling safe enough to be truthful.” I wanted to mean it and I did mean it in the sense that I truly believe that human beings and life experiences are our teachers and if someone feels strongly enough to share their opinion, then we should at least listen to see if any of it resonates or stirs up any thoughts or feelings that could be used to learn something about ourselves.

That being said, I got more and more upset, as I drove home. I kept thinking I wanted to take back my words of gratitude and tell her how I really felt. Who was she and what gave her the right to judge me or tell me what I could or could not say? Yoga is about non-judgment and leaving the ego outside the classroom. I’ve spent my whole life drowning in insecurities and have done a lot of work to build my confidence and the yoga room is the one place I feel safe. Yoga is my passion and sense of security and she had no right to take that away from me.

Yes, I was a little defensive, but therein lies my challenge … to be a silent witness to my own judgements and self-justifying. Being conscious is allowing others to trigger sensitivities and insecurities so that we can grow and become better beings. Judging her for judging me was not the answer. It’s about transforming my fears in to love so that I can be a better person. Had she not triggered anything for me then we wouldn’t be having this conversation so I’m grateful to this person for being honest and giving me an opportunity to explore myself a little deeper, but it is also my opinion that nobody has the right to judge another. Teaching is an act of great service and we all have a way of doing it that makes us feel comfortable and safe and that should be held in the highest regard.

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From Dancing Toes to All my Woes August 24, 2011

Posted by admin in : Injuries, Spiritual Growth , add a comment
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What is it about life that can have us floating around one moment and then completely grounded the next? Is it mother earth’s way of keeping us in check? Is it our collective consciousness seeking balance? Is it just a way for our higher selves to foster change so that we can grow and expand our awareness?

Although I would prefer to live behind rose colored sunglasses, I do get that being deeply connected to mankind requires doing a little soul searching, which means allowing our lives to ebb and flow through life’s highs and lows. This gives us the ability to stay grounded and connected and to have compassion, but it doesn’t always come so easily.

Before Saturday, I was gleaming from leaving corporate to pursue my passion to teach. My relationship was feeling rich and abundant and I was savoring every moment of my insatiable life. The sun was shining bright on my face, as we drove up in the convertible to the lake. I was smiling ear to ear sipping on a latte while all 10 toes danced happily across the dashboard.

That was obviously my high. The low came several hours later when I was thrown off a jet ski. I’m not exactly sure how it all went down because it happened so fast, but the impact of the water felt like a brick hit my face. I thought I was knocked unconscious until I realized there was blood running down my face.

I spent the next 48 hours in an extreme amount of pain. Everything from my teeth to the top of my head throbbed and the left side of my neck ached. Usually my life flows and I’m able to go where the wind takes me, but when I’m physically thrown off center, my mind becomes controlling and incessant.

Mind: Don’t be a baby … be strong … brush it off … it’s no big deal … it’s just a tiny little cut

Self: It is a big deal … it scared the shit out of me … I’m in a lot of pain … my whole face is throbbing … I think I might pass out

Mind: You’re going to ruin everyone’s evening … get it together

Self: How do I know if I’m okay … how do I know if I need stitches … what if I have a concussion … should I call my mom … I shouldn’t worry her … can I take Tylenol and Advil together … how much can I take … what just happened … I’m feeling faint … I really think I’m going to pass out

And the Mind went on and on through the next day too …

Mind: This is the first weekend in a while you don’t have to teach … you should get up and take a yoga class … you’re head doesn’t hurt that bad … you’re fine … now get up

Self: It’s okay to rest and take it easy and watch chick flicks all day … laying on the couch and eating pizza and ice cream is okay

Mind: Now you’re the victim and all this laying around and eating crap is going to make you feel worse … you should’ve gone to yoga … you’re being such a baby

Self: Shut up … I don’t have to be a tough girl … I’m not a tough girl … my  head hurts and I want to cry

And on and on it went …

After all the mindless noise began to settle, I found myself contemplating the bigger picture. Accidents happen and it could’ve been worse so I start thinking about the things that are really important to me like having a family and being a wife and a mom. My mind wants to label this analytical thinking, as bad, but is it? Life is way too short and perhaps this is why things like this happen in our lives … to get us thinking about things that matter.

If we were always floating around with our heads in the clouds we would never be forced to go deeper in to our selves and so although we must let go to a certain extent and accept our lives and allow them the flow organically, there’s something to be said about making conscious decisions. We have to use life, as a tool, and accidents, illness, and life’s challenges are a way of teaching us to connect to the body and get in touch with what’s important.

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Love Beneath the Surface May 5, 2011

Posted by admin in : People, Spiritual Growth, Yoga , 1 comment so far

As children, love was purely physical. Unable to take care of ourselves, we grew to depend on those who did. Love was primitive and physical, as we fought for survival.  As we began to explore our individuality, love metamorphosed in to something else. As a capitalistic society, we were self-centered and fear and control and judgment created a platform of insecurities that programed an emotional void in people. In order to feel loved and accepted, we had to meet the expectations of society.

We were the first species on the planet to have the capacity to feel and every human has the intrinsic need to be loved but the heart was never seen as more than an organ. Emotions were intolerable, as people were fighting for human rights and for the very land on which we lived. Years and years of anarchy sabotaged our ability to connect to others in a more compassionate loving way.

Most of us grew up in a very self-centered society where people didn’t know the meaning of genuine love. People were used for the sole benefit of another. Happiness existed outside the body. It was conditional and fleeting and never around for very long. Happiness was found in relationships or material possessions or fancy job titles or lavish homes.

Spending the past 12 years on the mat exploring the physical body and practicing mindfulness, I began to explore something greater than the ego, which kept me small and contained. Being more conscious meant spending less time on the merry go around of incessant thought. You can’t be in the mind and conscious at the same time so you are either in the mind or you are conscious, but you can’t be both. Consciousness is bliss. I saw the me beneath the veil of illusion. I saw the pure organic joy one can only feel in the presence of something spiritually profound.

If we continue to allow ourselves to be distracted, we will never know what it’s like to be in our bodies and we will never get the chance to meet ourselves. We are always going to be seperate from one another and we will continue to judge or blame or critize that which doesn’t meet our approval  because we are living through the filter of our mind and the the mind’s of our ancestors.

We are at a critical point in our lives. People are suffering and we have to stop self medicating through distractions and addictions. Will power and forcing ourselves to be better isn’ t the answer. We must go to the source and heal that which lives in fear and we need to focus on and cultivate the loving parts of ourselves.

Once you feel the soul’s essence, you will want to go further and further in to a place of eternal joy. It’s about being authentic and living from a place of love and having mutual respect for all beings.

Through this process of awakening to my higher self, I see people differently and view relationships on a much deeper level. I’ve grown to truly love the people in my life and not because of how they make me feel or what the relationshiop  brings to me emotinally but because  I’m finally able to see the depth of who we all are at the core of our being beyond the superficial platform we stand.

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Vacation Alone January 31, 2011

Posted by admin in : Fun Times, Spiritual Growth, Travels, Uncategorized Tags:, , , , , 4comments

Who goes on vacation alone? I never even thought about it until last year when I was reading the Artist Way by Julian Cameron. The book was written, as a creative tool to discover and recover the creative self. Part of the 12 week commitment was taking myself out on weekly artist dates, which, by the way, was a completely foreign concept to me.

I thought I was comfortable being alone since much of my time was spent solo, but when I really got to the guts of what she was asking, I was terrified. I was at a loss as to what to do so I spent the first 3 weeks making myself delicious home cooked meals by candlelight and taking myself to the movies (which, by the way, sucks on a Friday night if you’re single). By week 3 or 4 Julia says (and I’m paraphrasing), “… if you’re still taking yourself to the movies or making yourself a romantic home cooked meal, as your artist date, get out there and go on a “real” date … be creative and have some fun  …”

Have fun going out alone in public? Really? That didn’t sound like any fun at all. It was much more fun sulking around the house playing the abandoned victim who would never love again.  I didn’t know what to do, but the daunting task of being more creative opened up a whole new chapter in my life. My inner child awakened and I had permission to be authentic without fear of predisposed judgments.

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Closer to the end of the course, she assigned us the task of writing down our dream weekend. Not knowing the next week she would actually have us carry out the big dream, I went all out! I visualized myself on the beach basking in the sun doing yoga and eating gourmet meals and sipping on vintage wine. I was reading on the beach and writing by the pool. I was sleeping in and beginning each day with a leisuring bike ride.

Determined to complete the assignment, I took myself (kicking and screaming) to Destin Beach.

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I so wanted to back out, but in staying and facing my fear, I empowered myself beyond measure. I reconnected to a part of myself that was abandoned, as a child and my energy shifted to a more subtle vibration. My sense of being was awakened and renewed and it felt good to be in my body. I had confidence and strength and saw my life’s purpose in all its glory. It felt good to be me and I was proud of myself for facing a paralyzing fear and stepping in to the unknown. I was showered with abundance and joy and for the first time in my life, I knew what it was like to smile from the inside.

Who knew vacationing alone could bring so much joy and clarity and insight. There’s just something about being away from distractions and not having to coordinate schedules with anyone, but yourself. Your perspectives and judgments shift, as you notice your surroundings with every sense. It’s truly a spiritual gift to travel alone, as your inner voice becomes the only voice and the wisdom that speaks to you ignites the internal flame of the mother womb and we are immediately taken back to the place within us that’s pure and beautiful.

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Intentions for 2011 January 14, 2011

Posted by admin in : Spiritual Growth Tags:, , , , add a comment

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Winter Solstice falling on a Full Lunar Eclipse created fertile soil to sow the seeds of intention for the coming year. I sat quietly at my alter with hands pressed together at heart center setting clear intentions beneath the energy of the full moon. The New Year has always been a time of change and a celebration of new beginnings so I asked for my eyes and ears to  open so I could see what I needed to see and hear what I needed to hear. I asked for my heart to open and to release that which no longer served, removing any obstacles in the way of my soul’s highest potential.

I set these intentions with conviction waking at 1am, 2am, and again at 3am to stand beneath the dark shadowy sky.  I couldn’t see the eclipse through the cloudy night, but that didn’t stop me from looking up towards the moon and breathing in the energy of the magical night. I exhaled gratitude, as I knew my intentions were manifesting and it was now up to me to take action and be the change I wished to see.

I floated high the week between the Full Moon and the New Year, as I could feel a remarkable shift in energy.  I welcomed the coming of the New Year, as I knew all my hopes and dreams were being brought to light, but as the clock struck midnight, the preceding happiness retreated to darkness and my heart fell heavy with grief.

I woke up the next day to find the nation whirling in happiness. Everyone’s FB status showed signs of promise, as everyone was hopeful and full of joy. Why wasn’t I blissed out or basking in the magical energy of 2011. Why was I torn with grief and despair and feeling cranky and irritable? Did the universe leave me out? Was I somehow skipped over and left to wallow in the energy of the past?

My body was toxic from self neglect and over indulgence from the holidays so I needed to find a way to reconnect.  I took a hiatus from alcohol, curbed the morning run to Starbucks, and fed my body with clean raw food.  I turned off the television and retreated from all the distractions that kept my mind from being present and I got quiet, as one can only hear the iner workings of the soul in the quiet sanctuary of self. A still mind always hears the inner voice of reason and mindfullness brings clarity so I practiced yoga, meditated, and asked for guidance.

Manifestations do not always come neatly packaged so we may need to temporarily turn our lives upside down to realize our dreams, but it’s only to get us to see what we need to see and to hear what we need to hear. Spiritual work is often unpleasant at its root but clearing your way through the brush reaps consciousness, which is ultimate freedom. You are not alone if you are sitting in transition waiting for the waning of the old and waxing of the new, but it’s up to you to take action and be the change you wish to see.

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Archetypes July 17, 2010

Posted by admin in : People, Spiritual Growth Tags:, , , , , , 1 comment so far

Ever since I was introduced to the 4 archetypes by Carolyn Myss – the saboteur, the victim, the prostitute, and the child – my level of awareness has gone from ordinary to superlative. Who knew we all had these shadowy reflections of our inner selves lurking just beneath the conscious mind?

Anyone who has taken a psychology class has read about and/or studied the great Pioneer of Transpersonal Psychology, Carl Jung. His premise was that there was a relationship between the conscious and the unconscious. He termed the word individuation to mean a process of self growth that linked the ego to the self. He said the ego was the conscious and the self was the center of the collective whole (the unconscious and the conscious). He conceptualized the idea that we were all born with inherited predispositions that caused us to act and behave in certain ways. These predispositions are what he defined as archetypes, which (if left understood) would yield somewhat of a negative undertone when (in actuality) they are neutral forces. It is our perception and labeling of good and bad that have given our archetypes an uninterested connotation.

Caryolyn Myss, one of my favorite mystic authors, is a medical intuitive and has been in the filed of energy medicine and human consciousness for over 20 years.  In her book, Sacred Contracts and Advanced Energy Anatomy, she goes in to the 4 survival archetypes in great detail in how these ancient universal patterns of behavior are deeply imbedded in to the collective unconscious. These archetypes are fundamental forces that exist beyond our conscious knowing. They show up in our thoughts and actions and are repetitive in nature. All 4 archetypes are present in each and every one of us and although they are universal in nature, some are more dominant than others depending upon our heritage and upbringing.

Getting to know these unconscious patterns and behaviors is to embody the soul. We all think, feel, and experience the world in different ways and when we experience life through an unconscious lens, we are living and reacting to life through fear and vulnerability, but if we allow yourselves to awaken and live life more consciously, we are able to live and experience life from a place of love.

I was intrigued by the notion that there could actually be psychological reasoning for the maddening unconscious behaviors that exist within all of us. Could these archetypes really open us up to a greater understanding of ourselves and the unconscious patterns we create in the psyche? As I began to understand each individual role, I slowly and painfully became aware of their energy. Before the idea of unconscious patterning, I simply lost myself in the shadow of these archetypes that took up residence in the unconscious mind.

I began to witness myself metamorphosing in to character and I could hear myself saying, “What are you doing? This isn’t you.” But it was me…the unconscious me…the wounded child me…the victim me…the prostitute me…the saboteur me. They were the me’s I hid behind in order to protect myself from being physically and/or emotionally hurt. It was safer to plunge in the vast expanse of illusion than to be confronted with the reality of life. When we’re ignorant we are safe and not responsible for the truth so we fall prey to the shadow side of our archetypes who play out the same story over and over again in an attempt to feel safe.

With awareness comes responsibility so I can no longer hide behind the shadow of these archetypes. I have to step out and be my authentic self. I have to have the courage to be who I truly am and the shadows help me do this. They surface to give us insight in to ourselves. They give us the tools and power to heal the burdensome past. They help us let go of the baggage we’ve been carrying around for years, but we have to get to know them and understand them and welcome them as our allies. If we don’t take the necessary step to understanding them and the roles they play, we will continue to remain stuck in the behaviors and patterns of the shackling past.

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A Small Sacrifice June 17, 2010

Posted by admin in : Spiritual Growth, Yoga , 3comments

I left corporate a couple years ago to teach yoga because my heart was called to do something more meaningful. All I ever wanted to do as a child was save the world yet people mocked me telling me it was impossible, an implausible task. As I explored deeper aspects of myself through the art and philosophy of yoga, I realized it was possible to save the world because yoga wasn’t just a practice of strength and flexibility. It was a journey unto oneself and it allowed people to connect to their inner most selves where they could find peace and a joy from simply being.

Finding yourself means freedom and a sense of joy you can’t find in another and the clarity and peace you get from knowing and being intimate with yourself brings you to self-realization. If every person on the planet achieved this level of love, the world would know peace for when you are in a place of calm and I am in a place of calm, we are in the same place. It was this realization that brought me to the biggest decision of my life. I knew I had to teach, that I was born to teach, that teaching would bring peace to the world because yoga brings people back to their center where the mind and heart unite as one bringing light to the dark shadows that once hampered us from the growth necessary to sustain peace on earth.

Although teaching brings me much joy, there are times I question my decision to leave corporate because I look around and see people who are making good money and can afford whatever luxury they choose. I envy their position and question why I left a job where I never worried about money or healthcare because I had benefits and a great salary.  I think how dumb of me to walk away from something that offered so much financial freedom. I think about what it would be like if I hadn’t left and where I would be in the corporate chain of command and how much money I would be making and the freedom I would have to do whatever I pleased.

It is in these fleeting moments I am reminded of my heart’s true desire because although corporate offered a financial luxury, nothing can surpass the feeling I get when I look in to the eyes of a student coming out of a deep svasana and I see a tear in the corner of her eye and I know that something profound has just occurred. A warm smile falls across my face, as I know she is feeling a deep presence of self and she is on a journey of transformation and healing. It is in these moments, I know I’m where I’m where I’m suppose to be and  doing what I was born to do. It is a gift to share in the growth of another and to see one awaken to a higher consciousness.

It is in remembering who we truly are that gets us out of our ego and makes us realize we are so much more than the cars we drive or the homes we live in or the jobs we keep so I have much gratitude and a deep profound respect to those who left their secure corporate jobs to pursue their passion. It is not without sacrifice and I truly appreciate the healers who were willing to take a blind leap of faith to make the world a better place. I commend you and encourage you to remain strong in your faith, as you continue to bring yoga to life. Love to you all and a sacred, palms together, Namaste!

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Wake Up and Live Your Life May 19, 2010

Posted by admin in : Life 101, People, Spiritual Growth, Uncategorized , 1 comment so far

I frequently refer to my life as a journey because there is no destination. I’m on a continuous path of self-discovery and transformation. I use to worry about what other people  thought of me and fell prey to expectations because I wasn’t empowered enough to know better. I finally stopped living my life as a puppeteer when I realized mainstream wasn’t really going anywhere.

Of course I knew this as a child, but when you’re young and uneducated, you have no choice, as we don’t have the same free will living under the roof of another. As we find our way out in to the world and begin to make choices that reflect our own personal values, we find a sense of independence and freedom that leads us on a journey in to our deepest self.

The problem is we are so programmed we don’t even know what our own values are or what’s important to us as individuals. There is no sense of freedom because we are trapped in the minds of our predecessors following in the steps of society as a whole. How can we live an authentic wholesome life when our spiritual growth is inhibited by our predisposed minds?

We need to wake up as individuals and start making conscious decisions based on our own life experience. The change we need to see in this world is the change within ourselves. We are walking around as victims and taking no responsibility for the suffering our ignorance has created. We have to change the under current of past conditioning and start to live in accordance of our higher selves where we make decisions consciously from a place of inner knowing. The more we understand ourselves, the more in tune with life we become because we are no longer living from a place of fear, but from a place of joy.

Once you live from a place of center,  you no longer need the false sense of security we get from following the herd of lost souls who need us to be someone other than ourselves. As we explore the depths of ourselves, we begin to heal from the past, but this process can’t begin until we stop blaming politics or religion or the actions of others and take some responsibility.

Take charge of your life and watch how differently the world unfolds. I guarantee you if you’re unhappy with someone in your life it’s because you’re unhappy with yourself so use your relationships and moments  of unrest or pain to get to know yourself better. Use others as a map to your spiritual center. Let go of what’s happening around you and get in touch with the feeling it ignites or the behavior in yourself, as therein lies the answer.

Find the gift in the argument or the compliment in the judgement or the kind in the hate. Find peace in anger and joy in sorrow. The despair will only grow darker and make you weaker so find the light and bask in your inner radiance, as the world lights up around you.

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Feeling Pain April 24, 2010

Posted by admin in : Relationships, Spiritual Growth , add a comment

To be able to feel pain is an extraordinary gift. Human suffering manifests in many forms taking shape in our bodies, minds, and hearts. Sometimes it just brushes the surface of our existence and other times it takes on a life of its own. Whatever form it takes or vessel it ensues, pain is meant to be a guide. It is not our enemy, as there is so much to gain from sitting in the midst of a taxing endeavor.

A couple months ago I found myself at an impasse and had to walk away from a romantic relationship. It was a tumultuous time and my heart ached, as I loved this person dearly. I did everything in my power to move on, but the pain weighed me down like a cement block shackled to the ground. Life as I knew it turned grey and bleak. Tears were plenty and many nights unrested.

Had I not allowed myself to fall in love, I could have picked up the shattered pieces of my heart easily and moved on without feeling such intense emotional pain, but instead I was left with the void he once filled. I struggled, as I tried to understand why something so beautiful had to come to pass. I knew it was suppose to happen because it happened. I just didn’t understand why. My thinking mind was tormenting and I fell powerless under the dark cloud that loitered my soul.

My heart felt hollow, as I ached to know why. I felt abandoned and my ego rejoiced in being the victim. How did I end up here and when would the destructive forsaken cycle end? When would loss cease to affect me and was it possible to let go of the past mental conditioning and create a new path for myself?

As I asked these questions, I began to become painfully aware of what was going on beneath the surface. I thought I was angry at the man who broke my heart. I wanted to be mad at him, but it wasn’t he who broke my heart. It was I who broke my heart. In losing myself to the relationship and taking up residence in his life, I disconnected from my own life leaving my inner child to fend for yourself. It was a pattern of self-abandonment I came to know well, as it was familiar and safe and deeply rooted in my psyche.

Losing someone I loved was simply the catalyst, a trigger if you will. The despair and pain I felt over the loss had taken me to my knees in order for me to truly see the deeply embedded issue of emotional neglect. That is what I needed to resolve and I knew I had compromised myself for the last time. I couldn’t change what was happening in the moment, but I could listen to the inner child screaming out and come to her rescue. She had been trying to reach out to me for a really long time, but it wasn’t until my heart was raw with grief that I finally heard her.

You can’t heal that which you are not aware and pain makes you conscious and gets you in touch with your inner most self, but you have to stop looking outward because the answers come from within. There was sadness around losing the man I loved, but the true heart-wrenching pain was from losing myself and in reconnecting to myself I was able to release the fear of abandonment, which opened me up to a much greater love than I ever expected and that is the love of myself.

It is our responsibility to seek out the greater truth in what we feel, but that means being with the heart and not being afraid of feeling strong emotions such as fear, hate, anger, sadness, and/or jealously.  We have to stop self-medicating or distracting ourselves from the disquiet, as we are not truly living and growing spiritually if we brush our unease under the carpet or give it away unfairly. We have to own it, embrace it, and then rise above it.

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Creating the Life You Want March 10, 2010

Posted by admin in : Fun Times, Spiritual Growth , 1 comment so far

People have a tendency to get lost in relationships, as it takes special attention to keep one’s individuality in tact. I think we all lose ourselves to some degree, but it’s not always apparent until the relationship ends and you have time to reflect. It’s easy to get caught up in your partner’s life, putting his or her needs before your own and forgetting about the things that matter most.

I love to nest so I enjoy lighting all the candles in the house, turning on some music and cooking dinner at home. I like waking up to the smell of coffee brewing and having some time to chill in my own space before I head out and meet the day. It brings me a lot of joy to be in the sacred space of my own home and it keeps me grounded and centered yet I allowed my relationships to take me away from what mattered most. I was either with someone who preferred to eat out all the time or with someone who didn’t cook or like to cook or had the audacity to judge what I did cook. Instead of fighting for what I needed, I just shut down.

I wanted to share the experience of being at home and cooking a meal with my man, but instead, I allowed his schedule to dominate. I wasn’t secure enough to stand my ground and fight for some kind of balance so I gave up my power and became a resident of his life. It was easy to make excuses when I was in the relationship, but then I found myself single making new excuses. I would tell myself how silly it was to cook for one person or how nice it would be to finally meet a guy who liked to stay at home and cook.

The reality was I didn’t need a partner to fulfill my dream and if I sat around waiting for prince charming, I would be doing myself an injustice.  It was time to honor my journey and create the life I always wanted so I picked out a recipe, drove to Whole Foods and bought a bunch of groceries, and then went home and lit all the candles. I turned on some music, rolled up my sleeves and got to work. As I chopped, shredded, diced, stirred, and finished preparing the ingredients, I came alive and felt like myself for the first time in a long, long time. I found myself smiling and dancing around the  kitchen in my goofy toe socks having a romantic love affair with life.

To honor myself and do something I really wanted awakened something powerful beyond measure. My need to nest literally manifested right before my eyes and it was invigorating and empowering in a way I can’t describe. The only way to build self-confidence is to get out there and do something that scares you. Face your insecurities with tenacity and be proud of yourself, as you reclaim your power. Explore yourself and come alive from the inside out.  You will feel genuine joy in your heart and be at peace with the world.

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