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No Health Insurance August 26, 2008

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People who work as independent contractors or have their own business often do not have health insurance because they can’t afford it. Of course it’s the insurance companies that get blamed for increasing premiums, but they are not the only ones at bay. At some point we have to stop blaming the system and look at the real issue…poor health.  

We are paying high premiums because health care costs have gone through the roof and nothing is going to change until people start taking better care of themselves. We live in a fast food nation where we don’t care what’s in our food or how it’s being processed. We are eating pesticides and hormones, which are creating toxins in the body and in our environment.  We allow stress to take over our bodies and engage in very little physical activity. We have no room to say anything about the costs in health care until we start making healthier choices in our lives.

And yes I understand how frustrating it is to be one of the healthy ones who has to suffer the repercussions of those who don’t take care of themselves, but it just goes to show how interconnected we are as a society. All you can do is be a good influence. Show others a healthier way by setting a good example. Be a beacon of light and hopefully others will find their way. 

I took a leap of faith when I left the corporate world and decided to start my own business. One of my biggest concerns was not having group health insurance, but I knew I was suppose to follow my dream so I had to trust the Universe was going to help me figure the rest out…one way or another. I’m healthy and take good care of myself so I was looking for a preventative plan with a high deductible in case of a catastrophic event. Healthy or not, life happens so if karma finds you in an emergency room, you’ll be glad you had insurance. 

I worked with an insurance broker since she had access to all the major providers and could find the best rate, but none of the providers would offer me insurance because of my neck injury. I have to be free and clear for at least 4 months before anyone will consider my application. The broker even tried getting a plan with an “exclusion” clause, but nobody would do it. I was taken completely off guard as I didn’t expect to be turned down. It wasn’t fair. I got hit by a drunk driver, hurt my neck, and now I can’t get health insurance. 

I wanted to jump on the band wagon, but I had to stop myself because negativity only feeds negativity and my situation wasn’t going to change just because I was upset. Sure it wasn’t fair, but complaining about it wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Perhaps the Universe was just trying to help me out by saving a couple hundred dollars a month on premiums. I made the effort to secure it so I had to believe if I wasn’t able to get it then the Universe had something else in mind.  Now if I took fate in my own hands just to save some money then I couldn’t really say the same, but I have faith in a higher power so I know I will be protected until I can get insurance.

I’m still going to take action by sending the State of GA a letter because I don’t think its fair I’m being punished for something I didn’t do, but I’m not going to be a victim and sit around complaining about it. People are too quick to make bad news even worse. They let it stew and then fuel the fire by bringing it to the attention of everyone they talk to.  The negative energy builds as other people add their thoughts and opinions and before you know it you’re totally disconnected and missing the beautiful gift.

Complaining about something will only create a cesspool of negative thought forms, which doesn’t change anything. It just creates a toxic environment for you and everybody else. The media already puts enough negative energy out in the world. We don’t need to add to it. I’m not saying don’t share your opinion or honor your feelings. Just be aware and make sure you stay in integrity with yourself and your spirit. The only reason I can’t get insurance is because other people have taken advantage of the system. We have to stop blaming and start assuming responsibility for ourselves as a collective whole.   

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Ritual Interrupted August 24, 2008

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Rituals are sacred, as they bring a certain amount of structure and routine to our lives. They enrich our spirits and provide stability where there is none. Morning rituals are especially important, as they begin the day and set the precedence for the rest of the afternoon. Whether it’s getting up, having coffee and reading the paper or walking the dog and watching the news, rituals are a part of our identity.

I get up every morning, brush my teeth, take a shower, meditate, and have a cup of tea. It is important to me because it helps me feel grounded, balanced and better prepared for the day. My day is much more harmonious when I take the time to sit and be still. Even if I have a busy schedule or don’t feel like meditating, I still make the time, but of course there are those days it just doesn’t happen…whether it’s my own accord or beyond my control.

Take Wednesday for instance. I was completely thrown off when I woke up and found ants all over the bathroom. I wasn’t even awake yet and there I was wide-eyed starring at all these little creatures making their way across the bathroom floor. I had no idea where they came from or how they found their way to the bathroom, but I was a little irritated because my roommate was already up, showered, and out the door so she obviously saw the ants, but decided to ignore them.

I’m not one to kill bugs, but it wasn’t possibe to capture these tiny little ants and set them free so I grabbed the vacuum, plugged it in, turned it on and poof…one would have thought the vacuum was on fire with all the smoke and nastiness coming out the bottom. I immediately turned it off, unscrewed the top, and flipped it over to take a look. The belt was busted and the roller was wound so tight it couldn’t spin so the motor burned out. The lady at the vacuum shop said it probably happened the last time someone used it, which meant it must have happened the last time my roommate used it. I just wish she would have said something instead of putting it back for someone else to find.

After I got it fixed, I came home and found  garbage all over the front lawn and not just any garbage, but my neighbor’s used feminine products. It was absolutely disgusting and I don’t know how it happened, but I couldn’t really walk next store and demand someone pick it up so I just picked it up myself. I was not happy about it, but what else could I do, right?

I was absolutely starving by this point so I decided to make myself some lunch. I grabbed a hardboiled egg out of the refrigerator to eat with my salad, but I grabbed a raw egg instead and cracked it open on the counter so I had yolk squishing through my fingers and down my hand. I just had to laugh. What else could I do? I’m the idiot who grabbed the wrong one.

I went up to work on my computer after I finished my salad and realized Windows Internet Explorer was infected with a hijacker. I kept getting pop-ups one after the other and it was absolutely annoying to the point I couldn’t tolerate it.  I tried downloading ad-aware and spy-bots, but my computer was still infected even after the programs removed 300+ cookies.

Before I knew it, the time was 5:30 and I was about ready to have a melt down. My entire day was a waste so I decided to go take a yoga class from this little studio in Marietta I’ve been wanting to try. I got there 10 minutes early, but was told the time changed and wasn’t updated on the website so the class didn’t actually start for another 30 minutes. I didn’t really want to go all the way back home, but I also didn’t really feel like waiting around for a half hour so I decided to go to the Home Depot around the corner to have a key made.

I was proud of myself for making good use of my time until the guy at the key counter told me he didn’t have the master for the key I needed. Of course not!!! Talk about running in circles, right? Why did I even get out of bed? Do you ever have days where nothing seems to work out right no matter what you do? Do you think it would have been any different had I got up and meditated and had my usual cup of tea? Perhaps, but I guess that’s not really the point.

Days like this happen and we have to learn how to let the little stuff go, as it’s not healthy to get upset over stuff you have no control. I have to say I was proud of myself because I actually handled it much better than I expected. I didn’t let it to “get” to me and was able to find humor and laugh at myself. It was about me allowing myself to be with the frustration and allowing myself to feel irritated, but without allowing it to consume me.

Complaining about what happens in our day just feeds fuel to the fire and suddenly we become victims because we’ve allowed negative thought forms to have power over us. We need to accept  what is happening in our day without playing the martyr. Being aware of feelings that arise in irritating situations is usually enough to discharge them so honor the things that aggravate you…just don’t feed them energy by blowing them out of proportion and letting it get the best of you. It’s healthy to vocalize and share…just don’t be dramatic. Be conscious and witness what arises and it too shall pass.

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Another perspective June 19, 2008

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Conscious awareness is the key to a healthy relationship because it enables you to communicate through your essential nature instead of in your mind, which just conjures up ridiculous thoughts and unnecessary emotions. When we live in thought forms or the ego-driven self, we do not respond to situations from a place of love, which is why I got so mad this evening when my friend told me he was going to be late for dinner. 

We had plans to go out after my yoga, which usually gets out around 7:15-7:30. I brought a change of clothes with me since we were meeting between 7:45 and 8:00 and I wouldn’t have the time to go home first.  At 7:30 I got a text message saying he was going to be late and asked if we could meet at 8:30. I was irritated because I didn’t have the option to go home and suddenly had 45 minutes to burn. It might not have bothered me as much had he not been late the last time we got together, but making a girl wait twice is not what I call “earning brownie points” and I hate waiting…especially since I’m one of those people who is always on time.

My initial knee-jerk reaction went something like this, “What? He’s going to be late AGAIN??? I should have known !#$%^&* (that’s me cursing). Lovely…I see how important I am and what a priority our date is to him. And why is he going to be late? Because he was at the gym and didn’t realize the time? It’s rude to keep someone waiting…especially a second time! It’s inconsiderate. He knew what time we were suppose to meet…why couldn’t he schedule his time accordingly. It’s not rocket science. Now I have to sit and wait and I HATE to wait, but whatever, right? What other option do I have at this point? Be mad…tell him I don’t want to meet him anymore?”

 My ego wanted to be mad, but I didn’t want to be mad…what a waste of beautiful energy! I had to interrupt all the nonesense running through my mind so I took a deep breath and then thought about it from a different perspective.

The flip side went something like this, “Oh, who cares…he’s going to be late…it’s nothing new…he’s always late. He’s not really being inconsiderate or disrespecting our relationship…he’s just one of those people who gets caught up in the moment and is never really worried about planning ahead. He’s always running around at the last minute taking care of stuff…it didn’t matter if he was getting on an airplane or moving out of an apartment or an office space or going to a wedding or meeting me for dinner…he just always seemed to be on ”his” time.

Does this mean he’s wrong and I’m right because I’m always on time and he’s always late? Of course not. It just means that we are different and we have different habits and sometimes our habits conflict. It’s life and you can’t change someone just because their priorities are different than yours. Sure, I could have been mad at him, but that would have ruined our entire evening. My other option was to let it go and be at peace with what was happening.

 As it turned out, I ended up getting all turned around and got lost so had he not been late, it would have been me…either way we weren’t there by 8:00 and there was a wait anyway so what was the big deal, right? I ended up ordering myself a drink from the bar and just hanging out watching people come and go. It was a beautiful evening and the  moon was full so it was actually nice having the space to just “be!”

Had I allowed myself to get upset the evening would have been quite different and not so peaceful so I’m glad I made the choice to let it go.   It certainly takes a lot more energy to be negative so why even bother? Try it sometime. Just be aware of the next time you feel yourself starting to get upset with someone and use it as an opportunity to see things differently. You’ll be amazed at the difference in how you react. All it takes is a little self-awareness and life gets easier.

 Some critics would say, “Well it IS rude to be late and keep someone waiting and you shouldn’t let it go without speaking your truth.” I say, “Who cares? Does it really matter? He’s not going to change whether or not I get upset about it. It’s my decision whether or not to go out with him knowing he will probably be late so I only have myself to blame. I have to accept him for who he is and if I can’t then I shouldn’t make plans with him. We all have the choice to react negatively or just stay in a beautiful space. Thoughts are extremely powerful and if looking at life in a more positive way brings a sense of peace and equanimity than why waste time on being negative? It just doesn’t make sense.

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