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Vacation Alone January 31, 2011

Posted by admin in : Fun Times, Spiritual Growth, Travels, Uncategorized Tags:, , , , , 4comments

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Who goes on vacation alone? I never even thought about it until last year when I was reading the Artist Way by Julian Cameron. The book was written, as a creative tool to discover and recover the creative self. Part of the 12 week commitment was taking myself out on weekly artist dates, which, by the way, was a completely foreign concept to me.

I thought I was comfortable being alone since much of my time was spent solo, but when I really got to the guts of what she was asking, I was terrified. I was at a loss as to what to do so I spent the first 3 weeks making myself delicious home cooked meals by candlelight and taking myself to the movies (which, by the way, sucks on a Friday night if you’re single). By week 3 or 4 Julia says (and I’m paraphrasing), “… if you’re still taking yourself to the movies or making yourself a romantic home cooked meal, as your artist date, get out there and go on a “real” date … be creative and have some fun  …”

Have fun going out alone in public? Really? That didn’t sound like any fun at all. It was much more fun sulking around the house playing the abandoned victim who would never love again.  I didn’t know what to do, but the daunting task of being more creative opened up a whole new chapter in my life. My inner child awakened and I had permission to be authentic without fear of predisposed judgments.

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Closer to the end of the course, she assigned us the task of writing down our dream weekend. Not knowing the next week she would actually have us carry out the big dream, I went all out! I visualized myself on the beach basking in the sun doing yoga and eating gourmet meals and sipping on vintage wine. I was reading on the beach and writing by the pool. I was sleeping in and beginning each day with a leisuring bike ride.

Determined to complete the assignment, I took myself (kicking and screaming) to Destin Beach.

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I so wanted to back out, but in staying and facing my fear, I empowered myself beyond measure. I reconnected to a part of myself that was abandoned, as a child and my energy shifted to a more subtle vibration. My sense of being was awakened and renewed and it felt good to be in my body. I had confidence and strength and saw my life’s purpose in all its glory. It felt good to be me and I was proud of myself for facing a paralyzing fear and stepping in to the unknown. I was showered with abundance and joy and for the first time in my life, I knew what it was like to smile from the inside.

Who knew vacationing alone could bring so much joy and clarity and insight. There’s just something about being away from distractions and not having to coordinate schedules with anyone, but yourself. Your perspectives and judgments shift, as you notice your surroundings with every sense. It’s truly a spiritual gift to travel alone, as your inner voice becomes the only voice and the wisdom that speaks to you ignites the internal flame of the mother womb and we are immediately taken back to the place within us that’s pure and beautiful.

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Intentions for 2011 January 14, 2011

Posted by admin in : Spiritual Growth Tags:, , , , add a comment

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Winter Solstice falling on a Full Lunar Eclipse created fertile soil to sow the seeds of intention for the coming year. I sat quietly at my alter with hands pressed together at heart center setting clear intentions beneath the energy of the full moon. The New Year has always been a time of change and a celebration of new beginnings so I asked for my eyes and ears to  open so I could see what I needed to see and hear what I needed to hear. I asked for my heart to open and to release that which no longer served, removing any obstacles in the way of my soul’s highest potential.

I set these intentions with conviction waking at 1am, 2am, and again at 3am to stand beneath the dark shadowy sky.  I couldn’t see the eclipse through the cloudy night, but that didn’t stop me from looking up towards the moon and breathing in the energy of the magical night. I exhaled gratitude, as I knew my intentions were manifesting and it was now up to me to take action and be the change I wished to see.

I floated high the week between the Full Moon and the New Year, as I could feel a remarkable shift in energy.  I welcomed the coming of the New Year, as I knew all my hopes and dreams were being brought to light, but as the clock struck midnight, the preceding happiness retreated to darkness and my heart fell heavy with grief.

I woke up the next day to find the nation whirling in happiness. Everyone’s FB status showed signs of promise, as everyone was hopeful and full of joy. Why wasn’t I blissed out or basking in the magical energy of 2011. Why was I torn with grief and despair and feeling cranky and irritable? Did the universe leave me out? Was I somehow skipped over and left to wallow in the energy of the past?

My body was toxic from self neglect and over indulgence from the holidays so I needed to find a way to reconnect.  I took a hiatus from alcohol, curbed the morning run to Starbucks, and fed my body with clean raw food.  I turned off the television and retreated from all the distractions that kept my mind from being present and I got quiet, as one can only hear the iner workings of the soul in the quiet sanctuary of self. A still mind always hears the inner voice of reason and mindfullness brings clarity so I practiced yoga, meditated, and asked for guidance.

Manifestations do not always come neatly packaged so we may need to temporarily turn our lives upside down to realize our dreams, but it’s only to get us to see what we need to see and to hear what we need to hear. Spiritual work is often unpleasant at its root but clearing your way through the brush reaps consciousness, which is ultimate freedom. You are not alone if you are sitting in transition waiting for the waning of the old and waxing of the new, but it’s up to you to take action and be the change you wish to see.

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