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Creating the Life You Want March 10, 2010

Posted by admin in : Fun Times, Spiritual Growth , 1 comment so far

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People have a tendency to get lost in relationships, as it takes special attention to keep one’s individuality in tact. I think we all lose ourselves to some degree, but it’s not always apparent until the relationship ends and you have time to reflect. It’s easy to get caught up in your partner’s life, putting his or her needs before your own and forgetting about the things that matter most.

I love to nest so I enjoy lighting all the candles in the house, turning on some music and cooking dinner at home. I like waking up to the smell of coffee brewing and having some time to chill in my own space before I head out and meet the day. It brings me a lot of joy to be in the sacred space of my own home and it keeps me grounded and centered yet I allowed my relationships to take me away from what mattered most. I was either with someone who preferred to eat out all the time or with someone who didn’t cook or like to cook or had the audacity to judge what I did cook. Instead of fighting for what I needed, I just shut down.

I wanted to share the experience of being at home and cooking a meal with my man, but instead, I allowed his schedule to dominate. I wasn’t secure enough to stand my ground and fight for some kind of balance so I gave up my power and became a resident of his life. It was easy to make excuses when I was in the relationship, but then I found myself single making new excuses. I would tell myself how silly it was to cook for one person or how nice it would be to finally meet a guy who liked to stay at home and cook.

The reality was I didn’t need a partner to fulfill my dream and if I sat around waiting for prince charming, I would be doing myself an injustice.  It was time to honor my journey and create the life I always wanted so I picked out a recipe, drove to Whole Foods and bought a bunch of groceries, and then went home and lit all the candles. I turned on some music, rolled up my sleeves and got to work. As I chopped, shredded, diced, stirred, and finished preparing the ingredients, I came alive and felt like myself for the first time in a long, long time. I found myself smiling and dancing around the  kitchen in my goofy toe socks having a romantic love affair with life.

To honor myself and do something I really wanted awakened something powerful beyond measure. My need to nest literally manifested right before my eyes and it was invigorating and empowering in a way I can’t describe. The only way to build self-confidence is to get out there and do something that scares you. Face your insecurities with tenacity and be proud of yourself, as you reclaim your power. Explore yourself and come alive from the inside out.  You will feel genuine joy in your heart and be at peace with the world.

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