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Be Your Own Teacher November 11, 2009

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Why isn’t there more peace in the world and for that matter, why isn’t there more peace in each and every one of our hearts? I think it’s because we are afraid…afraid of not being good enough…afraid of failure. Of course we don’t want to live in fear so we reflect our pain on to others by blaming and judging. We throw ourselves in to our work and relationships and get caught up in other people’s drama. We overeat, drink, or find some other addiction to satisfy our inadequacies. We sit mindlessly in front of the tv or the computer and it’s only taking us farther and farther away from ourselves.  

A couple days ago I walked in to a bookstore and as I looked around, I couldn’t help, but notice all the books on Religion, Diet, Self-help, and Fiction. Where were all the books on Science, Spirituality, and other practical applications? Of course they were there, but not to the same degree. I got to thinking how this ironically shows up everywhere in our life. Think about all the reality-based television shows people obsess about or all the people that fill their time with everything and anything just to avoid spending time in their own skin. Why are we running from ourselves? Are we just scared of what we will see if we take a really good long hard look at ourselves and is this because of what media and social and cultural programming has done to our culture?  

Why should we just take the word of another mortal instead of listening to our own authentic selves? We put more trust in the media, medical professionals, and our peers than our own truth. We have lost touch with what’s really important in life and we’re being led through life like puppets and doing nothing about it. As a culture, we are constantly releasing negative energy and continue to contribute as taker instead of seekers. We can’t continue down this path for very much longer, as people need to start taking accountability for their own lives and awaken to something greater. We need to start trusting ourselves and listening to our inner teacher. We’ve all had our fair share of turmoil and there is a lot of suffering in the world, but that can’t stop us from honoring our inner most being and listening to our higher selves and moving through life more consciously. Ignorance is not bliss. It’s just an excuse not to learn or grow spiritually. 

The mind and body are so powerful that all we have to do is want change…want growth…want to let go of baggage and old programming. Put it out there and let your intention start as a seed and then cultivate it through some kind of spiritual practice and watch how fast and abundantly your flower grows and once it starts to sprout, there’s no turning back. You will be engulfed in more joy than you ever dreamed possible.

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Rebirth November 5, 2009

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People often ask me if I’m ”always” happy and I can’t help, but laugh because I’m the most sensitive person on the planet. Just because I have a positive outlook on life and live everyday to it’s fullest, doesn’t mean I don’t go through rough periods or experience sadness or even bouts of depression. None of us are spared from the shadow. We just handle it differently and I, personally, choose to deal with it head on because I know that being sensitive and allowing myself to feel every passing emotion creates beautiful space and a shift in consciousness that brings about profound awareness and mental clarity. My journey is about exploring the inner truth that seeks to be sought, as I want to grow and learn as much as I can. 

The problem is that sometimes we don’t want to see the truth because often times it can be painful. For me most recently, it was realizing my dream to be married and have children might not ever happen. After finding myself in another relationship with someone who didn’t believe in the constitution of marriage, I knew it was time to face the fact that my journey might be something other than I had hoped. I just couldn’t continue thinking about it and dreaming about it while knowing I was in a relationship with someone who dreamed otherwise. The alternative was to leave a man I loved, but my feelings were too strong so I had to let go.

Letting it go didn’t happen overnight, as it took me revisiting it and going over it in my mind again and again. What made it so difficult was the ego telling me I didn’t deserve to be married or have a child, that I was being punished for something, which is just old programming and conditioning from the past. Our spirits know better because when it comes right down to it, we are all worthy of the absolute very best and if I were truly meant to get married or have a child, it would happen whether I obsessed about it or not so why not just let it go and be free?

Even though I finally found the emotional strength and confidence in myself to let it go, it wasn’t easy. When a person holds on to a dream for so long, it becomes a part of the body’s physiology and letting go of old patterns can illicit strong emotions so I went through a bout of depression. My spirit felt lost and my hope smothered by despair, but I knew that a huge spiritual transformation was about to occur so I had to allow myself to feel the sadness because the only way for a person to know light is to know dark. 

In order to shine out from within, you have to be willing to sit in the shadow and endure a little suffering or heartache in order to really awaken and open your eyes to a higher truth. The more in touch you can get with your pain, the more in touch you will be with life, but that means getting to know it, being one with it, feeling it on every level. Once feelings surface, they can be released and what remains is a new sense of direction and a greater understanding of self and how it relates to the world.

Life is about living and dying, as one cannot be with the other just like the sun cannot be without the moon or the day without night. When something begins to shift energetically, you have to be patient because in order for transformation to occur, you have to be willing to let go of old thought patterns…old ideas…old social and cultural programming. This can feel like death in a way, but once the dark shadow clears, an absolutely radiant light fills the soul and you feel a sense of freedom you’ve never felt before. 

I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or the next day. I just know right here right now and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and the freest I’ve ever felt.  I’m creating my own destiny now…what I want…what I need…what I deserve and it feels so good not to be trapped behind a fairytale anymore. I wish more people were committed to the journey because the shift in global consciousness would be a collective uprising of positive energy that would have such a huge impact on the world.

People just need to stop following the minds of others and have more confidence in themselves, as people tend to beat to the sound of our culture’s drum just going with the flow like puppets being pulled by the strings of politics and media. I realize it’s much easier to follow traditions and societal riches than to do the work necessary to grow spiritually, but we’re never going to evolve as a culture if we remain stuck in the old way of doing things.

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