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Dubai September 28, 2008

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I honestly didn’t know anything about Dubai or what country it was in until a couple weeks before I left. I mean seriously…Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Jordan, Iran…they’re all in the same country, right? Okay, I’m kidding. I realize they are all separate countries. I just never paid much attention to any one in particular. They all linked together in my brain as the “Middle East.” I never realized the United Arab of Emirates was actually a country and not part of Saudi Arabia, but this is one of the reasons I like to travel.

I was given an itinerary for the trip, but I didn’t pay much attention to it, as my focus was getting my business off the ground. I put all my trust in Deborah and her husband who organized the trip. She’s a good friend of mine and I knew she would take care of every last detail. Her husband lives in India and she has been there many times so I knew they had everything under control. The only thing I had to do was apply for a Visa and make sure I was at the airport the night of the flight.

On some level I didn’t really want to know any of the details because I didn’t want there to be any expectations. In my mind I was going to India to experience nirvana in one of the holiest places in the world. I didn’t need to worry about the details or stress over anything out of my control. This was a trip about trust and letting go so that’s what I did. I knew we were flying in to Dubai and I knew it wasn’t actually in India, but in my mind we were going to India so Dubai was somewhere in India, right? I didn’t even give it a second thought until I heard someone talking about the 5 hour flight from Dubai to New Delhi and then it all started to sink in.

The three days in Dubai were spent exploring my inner “self” in an attempt to purify my body of negative thoughts and/or deep rooted negative emotions. I was grateful we stayed in a 5-star hotel with a beautiful outdoor swimming pool lined with colorful flowers and lush landscaping, a state of the art workout facility, sauna, Internet service, lavish buffets, comfortable beds, and impeccable service. It was all very comfortable and pleasing to the physical body, which made it possible for me to do such deep work on my most inner self. 

We learned several powerful meditation techniques, which were designed to take us deep in to the core of our being where serious psychoenergetic work could be done. I thought I purged everything during teacher training. I was done…finished…ready to fill up with divine goodness. Right! Keep dreaming! There are apparently layers upon layers of stuff waiting to come out and there will always be more layers to work through, as spiritual work is not something that ever ends. It’s a continuous evolution. The world’s largest proverbial onion!!!

The clarity and consciousness you receive from doing this work is divine, but it is a commitment and you have to be ready before you embark on such a journey. You have to be ready to face your fears…pain from grieving and loss…insecurities…painful memories…traumatic experiences…sexual issues…co-dependency…addictions…anger…depression…imperfections. It’s not for everyone and I would only suggest it to someone who was really ready to experience a heightened state of consciousness and had the right teachers for support and proper guidance, as its intense.

There was a part of me that felt like I was on vacation, as I was spoiled by the luxury of waking up and going for a morning swim and then relaxing in the sauna before taking a hot shower and heading down to an extravagant breakfast. I also got to spend my evenings touring the booming city of Dubai…driving by some of the most innovative real estate projects in the world. It is truly a unique city of free trade and tourism with a 37 billion dollar economy and the most spectacular skyline you’ve ever seen.


The other part of me felt like I was in spiritual boot camp, as my days were spent in lecture learning techniques to connect to my higher self. I had to sit through many intense meditations, which stirred up emotions and brought up judgments towards myself and others. Meditations are able to purify and help the body let go of stuff that no longer serves you so as emotions and pent up feelings are released, all kinds of things come up. Things you don’t really want to see, but need to see in order to heal and grow spiritually. It takes a lot of energy to heal at this level, which can leave you depleted and emotionally drained, but working through these types of things creates an energetic shift that brings an awareness and sense of self you can’t put in to words.

By the last day my mind refused to absorb anything else. I was frustrated and irritated and needed to disconnect from all of it so a group of us went out to have some fun, but we paid for it because we had to check out of the hotel at 2am that night and we didn’t get back until 11pm. I literally slept 2 hours, but it was worth it because we were able to get a really nice meal and a glass of wine, which I desperately needed. 

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I’m home!!! September 20, 2008

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Landing in Dubai

Hello, HELLO!!! Wow, I’m finally home. I can’t believe it. I feel like I’ve been gone forever. I arrived back to the US last Sunday, but it took me until Thursday to feel human again. I didn’t think it would be so bad considering I didn’t take very long to adjust to the flight out, but it was much worse coming home.

It will take some time for my body to recover, as I went from one extreme to the next and on many different levels…it was an intense journey through the physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional world. It was an experience of contrast as we began the trip in Dubai, which is one of the wealthiest cities in the world and then proceeded to New Delhi, one of the poorest cities. From there we moved through India up to the holy mountains of the Himalayas.

The energy in the mountains was so subtle. I instantly felt present and one with life. There was such a sense of quiet and stillness and I could feel the beat of my own heart, as thoughts seemed to cease. Our trip ended going back down the mountain to New Delhi and then to Dubai and on to Atlanta. By the time I arrived home, I didn’t know what was up or down. My body was completely out of sync and my mind absolutely buzzing.

People said it would be rough coming home, but I had no idea what to expect until I got off the plane. I had so many beautiful experiences while I was there, but the one thing I kept thinking about was the poverty and suffering, which I can’t even begin to describe. It’s beyond words and nothing you could ever imagine unless if you’ve been there to experience it yourself. I felt estranged when I got home…not being able to relate to anyone…not being able to comprehend how our culture could have so much and theirs so little.

Some of the greatest sages and Avatars came from India and it was the birthplace of yoga so I thought I was going to a place of nirvana where I could charge my entire being with divine light and goodness and then come back and channel these divine energies through my teachings. Instead I came back feeling drained and heavy in the heart so it will take me some time to figure it all out.

In spite of the sadness I feel about the suffering I definitely have a more profound awareness about myself and the world in which we live. I’m more spiritually aware…more conscious of my thoughts and actions, and I came home with a clarity and vision much greater than words could ever describe.

It will take some time for all the beautiful gifts to surface and for everything to sink in, as I feel like a snow globe that was just shaken up, but each and every flake will eventually settle and when it does, I will have an even more profound awareness of my sacred trip to the Far East and all the beautiful experiences that came from traveling inward. Until then I will take each day as it comes and I’ll write about it along the way so I hope you contine to share in my spiritual journey as it unfolds in blogs to come. 

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