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India bound August 28, 2008

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I don’t know if I told you about my trip to India, but I’m leaving Saturday for a meditation/yoga retreat. It has been a dream of mine to visit India ever since I began practicing yoga 8 years ago. I still can’t believe I’m actually going. I don’t think it will hit me until I’m there and then reality will set in as I will be a stranger in a foreign land. The hardest part will be the flight, but there’s no way around it. Thankfully I’m flying to Dubai first, which is only 16 hours. I fly the remaining 5 hours to New Delhi a couple days later so I’ll have some time in between flights.

I was just telling my girlfriends today at lunch how shocked I was at my present state of being. I never thought in a million years I would be this calm, cool and collected two nights before my trip. I’m usually running around taking care of last minute details up until the last possible moment yet here I am completely packed and ready to go. Why is this trip different? It’s not like I’m flying a couple states away. I’m flying to a country on the other side of the world.

Either the meditation and work I did during teacher training transformed me or I’m totally missing the boat on something. Seriously! My life is effortless and I’m absolutely blissed out of my mind, as I’m in such a beautiful place. I don’t think I’ve ever been this high before and I almost feel guilty for feeling this good. Is that wrong?

I still can’t believe I actually took the plunge and left corporate. It feels surreal to be doing what I absolutely love!!! It’s a joy to be able to share the gift of yoga and there is no better feeling than sitting in the energy of my students right after practice while they’re laying in savasana. It’s still weird to know I manifested this right in to reality, but every day it becomes more and more real.

I feel blessed more than you could possibly know and I have so much gratitude in my heart, as this beautiful dream provided a schedule which allowed me to get everything I needed to get done in enough time without having to stress or run around until the last minute. It’s amazing how a decision to follow my dream changed so many aspects of my life. Honoring myself opened a lot of doors and life just  fell in to place effortlessly without stress or struggle. Every day seems to flow like the wave of an ocean….like a beautiful dance beating to the sound of the universe. 

 I can’t even imagine the journey I’m about to take, but I look forward to watching each and every moment unfold. I will be sending my devoted readers loving energy as I’m meditating up in the Himalaya Mountains. I can’t even imagine what the energy must be like at the top of one of the world’s highest peaks. It must be incredible and I’m going to be sitting in silence feeling the beat of my own heart…what a rush!!! HA…some people can’t even stand to hear the sound of their own breath and here I am about to sit in my own essential nature with nothing, but absolute stillness.

Life is truly what you make of it so speak your truth and do something to honor your inner self. Find love within your heart and share it…with someone…with anyone…. smile at a stranger…make eye contact with someone you don’t know…hold the door for someone you’ve never met…just open your heart and share a part of you you’ve never shared. Let go of all the doing and open yourself up to simply being.

Honor the people you meet and truly listen to what they have to say…look into their eyes and be fully present. Go an entire day without saying anything negative and no matter what happens try and find the positive knowing that everything is happening just as it should. Trust in a higher power that exists within and all around you.  Don’t be hard on yourself or anyone else. Know that we are all here doing the best we can. Don’t judge or say anything hurtful. Be aware of the present moment…be aware of the love within you…be aware of the light in and all around you.

I will not have access to email while I’m away so please check back with me towards the end of September as I will have a lot to share. I will be sending you energy!!! All my love and a big woo hoo!!! Bon Voyage my friends!!! India, here I come…

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No Health Insurance August 26, 2008

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People who work as independent contractors or have their own business often do not have health insurance because they can’t afford it. Of course it’s the insurance companies that get blamed for increasing premiums, but they are not the only ones at bay. At some point we have to stop blaming the system and look at the real issue…poor health.  

We are paying high premiums because health care costs have gone through the roof and nothing is going to change until people start taking better care of themselves. We live in a fast food nation where we don’t care what’s in our food or how it’s being processed. We are eating pesticides and hormones, which are creating toxins in the body and in our environment.  We allow stress to take over our bodies and engage in very little physical activity. We have no room to say anything about the costs in health care until we start making healthier choices in our lives.

And yes I understand how frustrating it is to be one of the healthy ones who has to suffer the repercussions of those who don’t take care of themselves, but it just goes to show how interconnected we are as a society. All you can do is be a good influence. Show others a healthier way by setting a good example. Be a beacon of light and hopefully others will find their way. 

I took a leap of faith when I left the corporate world and decided to start my own business. One of my biggest concerns was not having group health insurance, but I knew I was suppose to follow my dream so I had to trust the Universe was going to help me figure the rest out…one way or another. I’m healthy and take good care of myself so I was looking for a preventative plan with a high deductible in case of a catastrophic event. Healthy or not, life happens so if karma finds you in an emergency room, you’ll be glad you had insurance. 

I worked with an insurance broker since she had access to all the major providers and could find the best rate, but none of the providers would offer me insurance because of my neck injury. I have to be free and clear for at least 4 months before anyone will consider my application. The broker even tried getting a plan with an “exclusion” clause, but nobody would do it. I was taken completely off guard as I didn’t expect to be turned down. It wasn’t fair. I got hit by a drunk driver, hurt my neck, and now I can’t get health insurance. 

I wanted to jump on the band wagon, but I had to stop myself because negativity only feeds negativity and my situation wasn’t going to change just because I was upset. Sure it wasn’t fair, but complaining about it wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Perhaps the Universe was just trying to help me out by saving a couple hundred dollars a month on premiums. I made the effort to secure it so I had to believe if I wasn’t able to get it then the Universe had something else in mind.  Now if I took fate in my own hands just to save some money then I couldn’t really say the same, but I have faith in a higher power so I know I will be protected until I can get insurance.

I’m still going to take action by sending the State of GA a letter because I don’t think its fair I’m being punished for something I didn’t do, but I’m not going to be a victim and sit around complaining about it. People are too quick to make bad news even worse. They let it stew and then fuel the fire by bringing it to the attention of everyone they talk to.  The negative energy builds as other people add their thoughts and opinions and before you know it you’re totally disconnected and missing the beautiful gift.

Complaining about something will only create a cesspool of negative thought forms, which doesn’t change anything. It just creates a toxic environment for you and everybody else. The media already puts enough negative energy out in the world. We don’t need to add to it. I’m not saying don’t share your opinion or honor your feelings. Just be aware and make sure you stay in integrity with yourself and your spirit. The only reason I can’t get insurance is because other people have taken advantage of the system. We have to stop blaming and start assuming responsibility for ourselves as a collective whole.   

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Ritual Interrupted August 24, 2008

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Rituals are sacred, as they bring a certain amount of structure and routine to our lives. They enrich our spirits and provide stability where there is none. Morning rituals are especially important, as they begin the day and set the precedence for the rest of the afternoon. Whether it’s getting up, having coffee and reading the paper or walking the dog and watching the news, rituals are a part of our identity.

I get up every morning, brush my teeth, take a shower, meditate, and have a cup of tea. It is important to me because it helps me feel grounded, balanced and better prepared for the day. My day is much more harmonious when I take the time to sit and be still. Even if I have a busy schedule or don’t feel like meditating, I still make the time, but of course there are those days it just doesn’t happen…whether it’s my own accord or beyond my control.

Take Wednesday for instance. I was completely thrown off when I woke up and found ants all over the bathroom. I wasn’t even awake yet and there I was wide-eyed starring at all these little creatures making their way across the bathroom floor. I had no idea where they came from or how they found their way to the bathroom, but I was a little irritated because my roommate was already up, showered, and out the door so she obviously saw the ants, but decided to ignore them.

I’m not one to kill bugs, but it wasn’t possibe to capture these tiny little ants and set them free so I grabbed the vacuum, plugged it in, turned it on and poof…one would have thought the vacuum was on fire with all the smoke and nastiness coming out the bottom. I immediately turned it off, unscrewed the top, and flipped it over to take a look. The belt was busted and the roller was wound so tight it couldn’t spin so the motor burned out. The lady at the vacuum shop said it probably happened the last time someone used it, which meant it must have happened the last time my roommate used it. I just wish she would have said something instead of putting it back for someone else to find.

After I got it fixed, I came home and found  garbage all over the front lawn and not just any garbage, but my neighbor’s used feminine products. It was absolutely disgusting and I don’t know how it happened, but I couldn’t really walk next store and demand someone pick it up so I just picked it up myself. I was not happy about it, but what else could I do, right?

I was absolutely starving by this point so I decided to make myself some lunch. I grabbed a hardboiled egg out of the refrigerator to eat with my salad, but I grabbed a raw egg instead and cracked it open on the counter so I had yolk squishing through my fingers and down my hand. I just had to laugh. What else could I do? I’m the idiot who grabbed the wrong one.

I went up to work on my computer after I finished my salad and realized Windows Internet Explorer was infected with a hijacker. I kept getting pop-ups one after the other and it was absolutely annoying to the point I couldn’t tolerate it.  I tried downloading ad-aware and spy-bots, but my computer was still infected even after the programs removed 300+ cookies.

Before I knew it, the time was 5:30 and I was about ready to have a melt down. My entire day was a waste so I decided to go take a yoga class from this little studio in Marietta I’ve been wanting to try. I got there 10 minutes early, but was told the time changed and wasn’t updated on the website so the class didn’t actually start for another 30 minutes. I didn’t really want to go all the way back home, but I also didn’t really feel like waiting around for a half hour so I decided to go to the Home Depot around the corner to have a key made.

I was proud of myself for making good use of my time until the guy at the key counter told me he didn’t have the master for the key I needed. Of course not!!! Talk about running in circles, right? Why did I even get out of bed? Do you ever have days where nothing seems to work out right no matter what you do? Do you think it would have been any different had I got up and meditated and had my usual cup of tea? Perhaps, but I guess that’s not really the point.

Days like this happen and we have to learn how to let the little stuff go, as it’s not healthy to get upset over stuff you have no control. I have to say I was proud of myself because I actually handled it much better than I expected. I didn’t let it to “get” to me and was able to find humor and laugh at myself. It was about me allowing myself to be with the frustration and allowing myself to feel irritated, but without allowing it to consume me.

Complaining about what happens in our day just feeds fuel to the fire and suddenly we become victims because we’ve allowed negative thought forms to have power over us. We need to accept  what is happening in our day without playing the martyr. Being aware of feelings that arise in irritating situations is usually enough to discharge them so honor the things that aggravate you…just don’t feed them energy by blowing them out of proportion and letting it get the best of you. It’s healthy to vocalize and share…just don’t be dramatic. Be conscious and witness what arises and it too shall pass.

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The Intimadated Teacher August 19, 2008

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Wow, wow, WOW!!! I’m flying high right now…blissed out of my mind!!! I just taught my first class at Peachtree Yoga Center, which is where I got certified and a highly regarded studio in the Greater Atlanta area. Peachtree offers a loving environment that supports all levels and abilities and anyone who takes a class there knows the beautiful energy that emanates from the heart of each and every teacher.

It was definitely a dream of mine to teach there, but I never thought in a million years it would happen so quickly. I mean seriously…me…working at Peachtree? No way! I’m not nearly experienced enough to teach at PEACHTREE…maybe someday after I’ve been teaching for a while, right? No, how ridiculous! I need to change these old self-defeating thought patterns. They do not serve me!!!

I was scared to death to sub the class and I came close to bailing out, but I knew the only reason I was even thinking about it was because of fear and I wasn’t about to let fear hold me back. I knew if I wanted to do this for a living I had to jump in head first and go for it, which meant not turning down any opportunities…Peachtree or otherwise. 

My stomach was in knots all day and my head was buzzing with ridiculous thoughts like, “What if I forget everything I was ever taught or come up blank when I go to speak? What if I can’t think of enough poses to do?” What if, what if, what if??? You should have heard me driving myself crazy. It was absolutely ridiculous, but it was just my ego trying to gain some momentum. 

You can imagine how elated I was to not only finish the entire class with ease, but to get positive feedback from the students. I couldn’t believe it. I did it…I really did it!!! I taught my first class at Peachtree and it was an absolute honor!!! I’ve never been more proud of myself in my entire life and I’ve never been happier as I sat there on the mat watching the last person walk out of class. I looked around the empty space feeling the beautiful energy circulating throughout the room and then nodded my head with a great big smile across my face.

I drove home singing my little heart out and giggling like a little girl. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude and not just for the class, but for everything that was happening around me. My dream was unfolding right before my eyes. Although I dreamed it, there was a small part of me that didn’t think it was ever going to be possible and here I was no longer dreaming it, but living it. I was doing it…teaching yoga full time…working a flexible schedule…having independence and freedom…doing what I loved and loving what I was doing…it was everything I manifested and more.

Life just keeps getting better and better and my heart keeps feeling more and more joy. There is so much love in my heart and there is such gratitude for all the blessings in my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my entire life. I feel so blessed and I wish this for the world…this happiness…this peace…this absolute sheer joy. Namaste!

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Trust the Inner Teacher August 16, 2008

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Before I sent out information to companies interested in yoga, I set an intention for my business to attract those who would most connect with my teaching style. Anyone who practices yoga knows the importance of finding the right teacher in order to get the most out of their practice. There are many styles and varieties of yoga and each teacher adds his or her own creative personal touch based upon his own life experiences.  

I think its important people find the right teacher, as they will not get as much out of a class if there isn’t a connection with the instructor. I left the corporate world to teach yoga to businesses because yoga is a healing art and I wanted to open myself up to be a channel of the sacred yogic teachings. Knowing how the Law of Attraction works, I set an intention to attract students who would get the most out of my class both physically and emotionally. Once I set the intention, I knew it was important to stay open because the Universal Law of Attraction doesn’t work if we are not open to receive. The universe will guide you and show you the way, but you have to be fully present, which demands conscious awareness. 

One of my students approached me after class one day and asked if I knew about Plum Tree Yoga, which I found interesting because Plum Tree was a place I had heard wonderful things about and always wanted to try, but never got around to it. Long story short, my student said the studio was looking for a new teacher and told me to call and speak to the owner because my teaching style was very similar and she thought my energy would fit right in. I didn’t say anything, but I thought she was crazy because Plum Tree was one of those places you dreamed of working. To imagine actually working there didn’t seem realistic, as most of the teachers there have been teaching for years and much more senior than me. I thanked my student for being so sweet and thinking of me, but then brushed it aside knowing Plum Tree would never hire someone like “me”.

A couple weeks later my student asked if I called the studio, but of course I didn’t so she asked if she could pass my name and number along to the owner. What was I going to say, ”no?” Not even a week later the owner called and asked if I could come in and meet with her and whether or not I would be open to teach a class. I was nervous and there was a part of me that just wanted to make some lame excuse and bail, but then I remembered my intention and how important it was to stay open so I faced my fear and went to meet her.

Her spirit was so sweet and genuine and the energy of the studio was warm and inviting. I connected immediately. It was obvious I was brought to Plum Tree for a reason so I told the owner I would teach the class and that was that. Thursday was the first class and I wasn’t that nervous until the students walked in. You could tell they had been coming to this class for a long time and were use to the other teacher and were skeptical about a new person coming in, but we all get that way, right? We walk in to our favorite class looking forward to the practice and then we see some stranger there to sub and we immediately feel grim and want to leave.

It was intimidating sitting in front of 12 women who were expecting someone else and who were use to a certain style of teaching, but I just said a little prayer and asked the universe to make me a channel of love and light and then I let go. I was convinced everyone hated the class and they were all going to tell the owner I was terrible and ask for someone else. Right? NO! Why are we so hard on ourselves and why do we not give ourselves enough credit?  It’s amazing the grief we put ourselves through and for no reason. It turns out the students actually liked my class and the owner asked me to come back and teach the following week so I wasted all that energy on silly self-defeating thoughts.

It’s not easy teaching a class to a room full of strangers all coming in with expectations, but you have to trust your ability as a teacher, as you are simply a vessel of divine love and light. Being a teacher is a gift. You are giving your students joy, inner peace, and an opportunity to get to know themselves better. Yoga is so much more than a physical practice of poses. It connects the mind and body and offers many physical, emotional, and mental benefits. Open yourself up to give and to honor the practice that brings people back again and again. Stay centered and let go of any nervousness knowing your spirit attracts students for reasons you may never know. Trust in yourself and allow the teaching to move through you…not from you.  

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Niacin Flush August 15, 2008

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I taught a yoga class this morning and then went home to make breakfast. While I was cooking I poured myself a shot of Alive Liquid Muti-vitamin. It’s hard to get all the vitamins and minerals you need in every meal so I take this as a supplement to balance my diet. Alive provides whole food concentrates and energizing nutrients that quickly absorb and assimilate in to the body. It has vitamins, minerals, fruits & vegetables, green foods, herbs, bioflavonoids, amino acids, enzymes, trace minerals, EFA’s, and mushrooms. It’s good stuff!!!

The directions said to take an ounce so I poured myself a shot glass and down it went. Afterwards I realized the glass was actually more than an ounce so I ended up taking just about a double dosage and on an empty stomach. Two minutes after I took it, I started to feel strange. My ears got really warm and tingly and then my face started to get hot. The warm tingling sensation moved to my throat and then to the top of my shoulders. From there it moved to my knee caps, elbows, ankles, and just below my sacrum. It felt like my face was in a vise grip and on fire.

I didn’t know what was happening and I was scared to death. I never felt this sort of thing before and I was home alone so I didn’t know what to do. I tried getting a hold of my mother, but I couldn’t reach her so I called her husband who wasn’t available either. I wasn’t sure if I should call 911 or go to the emergency room or what. At what point do you declare something like this an emergency? I ended up taking a Benadryl and within 10 minutes I started to feel better. The tingling sensation was still there, but it stopped spreading so I felt a bit relieved and was able to calm down.

My mom called not too long after I took the Benadryl so I explained to her what happened and she knew exactly what it was. She said I experienced a Niacin Flush. Ever heard of it? Yeah, me either! Of course my mother has heard of it…she has a Doctorate in Natural Health and was in the medical field before I was even born so she pretty much knows everything when it comes to this kind of stuff. Anyone else would have thought I was having an allergic reaction and sent me off to the emergency room, but my mom just so happened to participate in some random study with Niacin and was able to diagnose it immediately.

I looked it up on-line and she was absolutely correct. Thankfully it wasn’t anything to cause alarm. I was just having a common reaction to the dosage I took on an empty stomach. Who knew something so healthy and good for you could cause such an adverse reaction? Somewhere in the information I read on-line, people were advised to take an antihistamine before taking Niacin in order to prevent some of the common reactions so I’m glad I took the Benadryl.

I believe in holistic remedies and will always try the natural approach before anything else, but life is about balance and healing occurs on both the physical and energetic body so Western and Eastern medicine both have their place and we shouldn’t close ourselves off one way or the other.

Everyone should keep Benadryl or some type of a holistic diphenhydramine in their house because it could save someone’s life some day. You never know when something like this could happen so it’s better to be safe than sorry. You might not have enough time to get to the drugstore if you have a bad enough reaction to something.

Just be sure you don’t get in a car and drive after taking Benadryl. I’m sure if affects everyone differently, but it knocked me out and for hours. I was comatose and in and out of consciousness. I couldn’t even bring myself to get out of bed and I could still feel the tingling throughout my body so I just took it easy for the rest of the afternoon.   

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Wash your fruit August 12, 2008

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Hello Little Spider

How many people do you think actually wash the fruit they eat and I mean every single piece of fruit that touches their mouth? Do you? If the answer to this question is “no” you might want to reconsider. I realize I’m taking a risk every time I put a piece of fruit in my mouth without washing it, but sometimes I get lazy….not like it’s really hard to run some water over a piece of fruit, right?

Fruits and vegetables are covered in pesticides and other chemicals, which go directly into the body. I thought I was doing a great thing by buying organic produce not sprayed with toxic chemicals, but who knew organic meant spider-friendly? Do you see the cute little fellow straddled across the face of my perfectly organic pesticide chemical free grape? I ALMOST ATE HIM and all because of my indolence in not wanting to go through the “hassle” of getting out the strainer, taking the grapes out of the bag, and rinsing them under cold water. Ridiculous, right?

I’ve never seen anything like it. I think the poor little guy climbed atop the grape without a clue what he was getting himself in to until the vine was picked, thrown in to the back of a farmer’s truck, sold to the local farmer’s market, and then put in the refrigerator where the poor little guy died of frost bite. I can only hope he is now reincarnated into a higher life form or enjoying life as a free spirit!

I guess the grapes were organic after all or else the little spider survived a serious chemical warfare. Maybe the farmer had a little sign out that read, “Calling all insects…all are welcomed and encouraged to wonder around…nesting on any luscious organic grape you see fit…the vineyard is all yours.” Or perhaps the little guy was just laying out under the sun trying to get some vitamin D. Whatever his journey, his soul is now gone and his body put to rest and thankfully not in the burrows of my intestines. 

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Manifest and Believe August 9, 2008

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I can’t even begin to explain how excited I am about starting my own business. I’ve dreamed about this day for as long as I can remember and now it’s here and it feels surreal. It’s absolutely mind-blowing! For years I sat by and watched people follow their dreams and be successful. They seemed to find the one thing they were good at or most passionate about and started a business doing the thing they loved. I was surrounded by creative geniuses and yet I was in corporate doing something I didn’t really enjoy.

I knew I wanted to have my own business more than anything in this world, but I wasn’t specialized in anything so I use to beat myself up for not being good at any one thing and I would constantly struggle trying to figure out what I could do, but it wasn’t meant to be “figured out.” It was there the whole time…trying to get the mind to understand it was only pushing it further away. It wasn’t until I let go of it and was in the middle of teacher training one day totally in the moment that it popped into my head. I remember the moment of clarity like it was yesterday. It was like a bolt of lightening hit me. I heard a little voice say, “Yoga…that’s it…yoga…that is what you are suppose to be doing.” How did I miss something so obvious? It made perfect sense.

I was blissed out for the next couple of days just thinking about how good it would feel to leave corporate and teach yoga, but then a voice in my head started telling me I was crazy for thinking I could teach yoga for a living…it would never work. I felt discouraged and stupid for thinking I could start my own business. There was a lot more going on than what was happening on the surface. The truth was I didn’t feel good enough…I didn’t think I deserved it. Something happened somewhere along in my life to make me think I wasn’t good enough.

Sometimes the thing that inhibits us from making our dreams come true doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on in the moment at hand. It has everything to do with old programming and thought patterns from when we were younger. They become so imbedded in to our psyche that we aren’t even conscious of them anymore. They become a part of our identity, but not our pure conscious identity…the ego identity. 

If you don’t feel good about yourself then something other than your loving spirit is speaking to you. The voices that make us feel bad about ourselves come from being emotionally hurt, but the moment you bring awareness to the old patterns holding you back, the old energy loses power and you to start to awaken in a way you never dreamed possible. Sometimes it’s not easy and you have to do a little work to figure out what’s going on, but the journey is well worth it.

I can’t tell you what path to take to find yourself because it is different for everyone, but what I can tell you is that all you need to do is set the intention to let go of anything that is no longer serving you or preventing you from achieving your highest spiritual good and you will be led accordingly. I promise! All you have to do to make your dream a reality is believe and I mean truly believe, but if you don’t think you deserve what you’re manifesting or you don’t think you’re good enough, you won’t be able to believe.

I’m here to say that you are good enough and you do deserve. I don’t care who you are or what you do. Everyone deserves their dreams to come true so follow the self-defeating voice…go in…meet the demon face-to-face and conquer the limiting thought patterns that have kept you at bay for so long. Come back knowing you deserve the absolute best and know that you are good enough…then sit back and watch the magic unfold. I’m telling you from experience…all you have to do is manifest and believe…truly believe…it will happen!

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Teaching yoga…full time August 6, 2008

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Two weeks ago I was still sitting at a crossroads trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life. My dream was to write and teach yoga, but a little voice in my head kept telling me I couldn’t survive teaching yoga…I wouldn’t make any money. I was use to a corporate salary, paid time off, and benefits. Every time I thought about starting my own business doing the thing I love the most, I would get this tinge of excitement in my belly, but then this pestering little voice would come back and start telling me I was crazy…go back to corporate.

I was offered two different positions will well known companies in the Orlando area, which is where I use to live. My little brother is still there, as well as, my beautiful tribe of women. I also have a niece on the way so taking either position would have made it possible for me to see her all the time. It was a done deal, right? I had two concrete offers sitting on the table, which meant I could move back to Orlando with all my friends in an environment I was already comfortable, I would have income coming in right away, and life would be great, right?

No! I hate Orlando. It’s flat, hot, and uninteresting. I lived there for 8 years and couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I absolutely love Atlanta and didn’t want to leave. My heart would fill  with an incredible sadness every time I thought about moving. My life was in Atlanta…my yoga studio and teachers…my spiritual network…my homeopathic doctors… my energy healer. Why would I even think about leaving? I’ll tell you why. I was scared…scared of not finding a job in Atlanta and making it financially.

I wasn’t trusting myself or the divine powers to be. The only reason I was even thinking about moving to Orlando was because it was immediate income and it was easy. You should never make a decision based out of fear or because it’s the easy thing to do. If you are, you are making the decision for the wrong reasons.  Once I stopped and asked myself, “What would you do if you could do absolutely anything you wanted and there was nothing stopping you,” I knew. I would write and teach yoga.

So there it was…the moment of truth. I turned down both jobs and then verbally stated to the Universe that I was going to stay in Atlanta, teach yoga, write in my blog, and I wasn’t going to starve doing it. I was being called to bring yoga to corporate, as I witnessed firsthand the stress people faced on a day-to-day basis and I saw the beautiful gifts yoga brought to employees in the work place. I knew in my heart it was what I was suppose to be doing so I had to trust, let go, and go for it. As soon as I made the decision and I mean AS SOON AS I made the decision, my whole life turned around.

I’ve never been more clear about anything in my whole life. It’s time for me to do what I love and love what I do. There’s no better feeling in the world than to have clarity on something as overwhelming as trying to figure out what you want to do with your life. Mental barriers are hard to get through, but when you do, it’s like a bolt of lightening comes out of the sky and fills you with a sense of knowing that is clear as day. It’s as if someone lifted the veil and you can finally see…FINALLY! It’s empowering and livens you in a way I can’t even begin to describe. I’m here to tell you if you follow your dreams and you make conscious decisions that contribute to your overall well being, the universe will support you 100%.

Do not let fear stop you from doing something you love. Open your heart and follow your dream. I promise you it’s possible. You have to honor yourself first and foremost. The universe can’t help you if you can’t help yourself and sometimes you have to dig through the sludge to get to where you’re going, but once you get there, you would trudge through it again 10 times over if you knew the end result was the same…it feels that good!

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Pure Consciousness August 4, 2008

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What is “pure consciousness”? I’m always talking about being awake or conscious, but then it dawned on me that people may have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. What would you say if someone asked you the question, “Who are you?”  I was actually asked this question on the application for Yoga Teacher Training and my first response was, “Oh, that’s easy…I’m this…I’m that…I’m…I’m.” I had to keep starting over because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t put it in to words…it was beyond words.

We are not our jobs and we are not the cars we drive or the homes we live in. We are not the clothes we wear or the friends we hold. These are just identities we associate ourselves with on a day-to-day basis. There is so much more to us than life’s external identifiers, but sometimes it takes a paradigm shift to open yourself up to seeing beyond the veil and realizing there’s a duality to our existence. Do me a favor and wiggle your toes. How are your toes moving? Your body, right? Well how did your body know to wiggle your toes? Because the body heard me say it or because something beyond the physical told the body to do it?

You could psycho-analyze this to death, but these types of questions aren’t suppose to be logically thought through. They are just here to get us to think outside the box. For example, how do you think the body heals itself when it gets sick?  Don’t think about it because it’s too complex for the mind to understand. The mind wasn’t meant to grasp such refinement, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t more going on just beneath the surface. People are stuck in wanting to understand from a logical perspective…they want cold hard facts…scientific proof.

Evolution can’t always be explained, but there is a beautiful higher intelligence that guides, heals, and protects us whether the mind grasps it or not. This inner intelligence is what some may refer to as our spirit or soul. This light within us is always trying to communicate with us, but we don’t always hear it because we are so distracted with life and everything going on around us.

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a friend while you were at a rock concert? No, of course not. And why? Because you can’t hear each other, right? You would have to scream in order for you to talk and there’s a concert going on so why bother? Well think about what it must be like for your spirit to try and communicate to you when there’s constant noise in the background. We live in a world where people are in front of the television or listening to music or playing video games or out having fun with their friends allowing social conversations to mute the soul.

If you want to find your true essential nature, you have to step back from the distractions and allow for some quiet space in your life. Most people can’t stand to be alone or in any kind of silence because they are afraid of what they might see. The ego has done a good job in convincing you that you are not enough and it doesn’t want you to find yourself because that means you will see and feel the truth and will know that you are not the ego…you are not your thoughts…you are not your emotions. You are simply a beautiful compassionate  loving being who wants to be loved. The ego tells you love hurts and so you run from love, but you will never be able to free yourself from the ego until you learn to love yourself….your true beautiful self.

Pure consciousness is that place of divine love that rests peacefully beneath the thoughts and emotions and armor you wear. Think about a time you went up to the mountains or out to the beach and got up at dawn to see the sun rise? Think about the pervading quiet stillness. Think about the awakening dawn and all the pleasant sounds that rang out from the heart of the divine mother. Think about the sky and the marvelous colors that gave birth to new splendid hues of light. Think about the sun and the sweet peace you felt as it came up over the horizon. Think about how you felt in that moment of stillness with so much beauty surrounding you. It was pure and perfect in the unfolding moment because life was perfectly aligned. Feel in to the divine energy you felt…feel the peace and the love and all the stillness…what you are feeling is you…the real you…the soul you…the spirit you…the conscious you.

Your job…your social schedule…your house…your car….your favorite sport…your yesterday…your tomorrow……none of it truly matters in the grand scheme of things…it’s the beautiful loving “you” that truly matters. Somewhere deep within ourselves there is this yearning to be free from the ego. People who do not know themselves have this underlying unhappiness somewhere in their life and this malcontent will continue to haunt them until the day they die because they are stuck in the pattern of negative thoughts, strong emotions, and thinking they have to be this or they have to be that in order to be happy. All it takes to move through the disontent is to be fully present…without judgment or fear….give yourself the freedom of being in the here now and the beautiful conscious “you” will fully emerge from deep within the depths of your being!


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